


Underdogs

by curl



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: (past) one-sided cyrus/jonah, Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn-ish, alternating pov (cyrus&tj), background jandi, how many words until it qualifies as slow burn?, set after miniature gulf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 04:53:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14686902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curl/pseuds/curl
Summary: Ever since their encounter by the swing set, TJ feels drawn to Cyrus. In more ways than one, Cyrus helps TJ overcome certain obstacles in his life - the biggest one probably being TJ himself.---i started writing this right after Miniature Gulf aired and i thought it was going to be like 4k words whoops¯\_(ツ)_/¯one-shot split into chapters for accessibility





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> * indicates a change of pov

A small flock of pigeons scrambled as they dodged a baby tater that came flying towards them. One brave pigeons picked it up and dragged it away to where its friends had settled down a little farther away from the swing set.  
TJ threw another tater, forcing the birds to spread out again.

He was just pushing himself lightly back and forth with his feet on the ground as he watched the pigeons absent-mindedly, when a voice behind him said, "If you want to feed them you may wanna try not hitting them."  
TJ turned around to find Cyrus approaching the empty swing next to him.  
The corners of his mouth twitched upwards and he looked away again. "I'm not trying to feed them."  
Cyrus took a seat but didn't start swinging. "I imagine baby taters don't meet their dietary requirements anyway," he said. "Although that doesn't explain why you're throwing them away. I know taters to go are never as good, but still."  
TJ shrugged half-heartedly. "I got them but I'm not really hungry," he mumbled.  
"Not hungry for taters?", Cyrus asked, sounding a little more shocked than TJ would have found necessary, although it was kind of endearing.  
"..Do you want the rest?", TJ asked and added, "Even if they're just to go?"  
Cyrus hesitated before he smiled - albeit with a hint of uncertainty - and said, "Can't say no to taters." He took the box from TJ and stuffed one into his mouth. "I feel kinda sorry for the pidgeons, though."  
"Why? They're just dumb birds," TJ responded.  
Cyrus swallowed a bite. "..I mean, they're still living beings. They can't help themselves when they're getting tatered by a giant human."  
TJ smiled to himself. He wasn't _that_ tall.  
He exhaled audibly and his smile vanished again. "Is that supposed to be some kind of metaphor for bullying or something?"  
Cyrus squinted slightly and pulled up his shoulders. "Did it work?"  
"..Fine," TJ said. "No more tatering pidgeons."  
Cyrus raised his eyebrows, seemingly surprised that TJ had been convinced so easily. "Also, I read somewhere that pidgeons are actually really smart. They never forget a face," he added.  
"For real?"  
"Eh, it might have been crows," Cyrus said with a shrug. "Still, I wouldn't wanna take a chance and end up with a bunch of pidgeons picking out my eyes."  
TJ snorted quietly.

"So," Cyrus began after a while of swinging in comfortable silence. "What brings you to the playground?", he asked, trying to sound nonchalant.  
TJ shrugged. "Stuff." He shot a glance at Cyrus. "You?"  
"..Stuff," Cyrus responded and pursed his lips.  
Although TJ didn't expect a detailed answer he was still a little disappointed. All he knew about Cyrus was that he loved chocolate chocolate chip muffins a little too much.  
After a short silence, Cyrus said, "I heard math tutoring isn't going so well."  
TJ had to keep from rolling his eyes. "Did Buffy send you here?"  
"No!", Cyrus assured him. "She just told me that she doesn't know what to do."  
"She shouldn't tell anyone anything," TJ grumbled. "It's nobody's business. Bad enough that Mr. Coleman brought her into this."  
"Into what?"  
TJ shook his head. "Nothing. Forget it."  
"Okay," Cyrus said. "Consider it forgotten."  
TJ's face showed a hint of a smile, but he didn't say anything in return. He was just glad there was at least one person who didn't press him about his issues.

*

The next day, Cyrus met up with Buffy by their lockers after a free period, which she had been using to tutor TJ, or at least she tried.  
"How did it go?", he asked, but by her expression he could already tell it couldn't have been good.  
"It didn't," Buffy answered, not even making an effort to conceal her anger. "He stood me up _again_." She sighed and tried to regain her composure. "I really tried, but I'm done."  
"It's not like you to back down from a challenge," Cyrus said in a weak attempt to change her mind. "Maybe you should give him another chance?"  
Buffy shook her head. "This was like his 37th chance already. What's the point of playing if I can't win?"  
Cyrus didn't respond. He had to admit there really wasn't much he could say in TJ's defense besides the fact that he was nice to him for some reason.

"There he is," Buffy said in a hushed tone when she spotted TJ over Cyrus' shoulder at the end of the hallway.  
Before Cyrus could say anything, Buffy was already stomping towards him.  
As soon as TJ noticed her, he rolled his eyes and attempted to walk away.  
"TJ," Buffy called after him and he stopped.  
With a huff he turned around. "What."  
"I'm sure you have a good excuse why you didn't show up," she said and looked at him expectantly.  
TJ shrugged. "No. I just didn't want to," he answered with his usual defiant attitude.  
Buffy clenched her jaw. "Okay," she said as calmly as she could. "I'll tell Mr. Coleman that I won't tutor you anymore. Seems like there's nothing I can do."  
"Oh, _finally_ something the great Buffy Driscoll can't do!", TJ said in a sarcastic tone and Buffy raised her eyebrows in surprise.  
"What's that supposed to mean?"

Cyrus was watching them from afar, ready to jump to Buffy's aid, although he was sure she wouldn't need it.  
And the spiteful look TJ was giving her made him look like a completely different person from the one on the swing.

"I know you think you're better than me," TJ continued. "And now you're getting me kicked off the team. Congratulations!"  
Buffy took a small step towards him to assert herself. She squinted slightly and spoke in a low tone. "What I _think_ is that you have been nothing but unfair to me. All I ever wanted was for you to pass me the stupid ball." She made a pause and her expression softened a little bit. "I really tried to help you."  
"How very noble of you," TJ said, ignoring all but her last words.  
Buffy threw her hands up in defeat. "Fine. Be that way. I'm glad I don't have to deal with you any longer."  
"Trust me, the feeling's mutual."  
Buffy didn't respond. Instead she turned around and stormed off.

"Come on, Cyrus, let's get out of here," she said when she passed Cyrus, not slowing down and trusting that he would follow her.  
Cyrus glanced at TJ and met his gaze, but TJ quickly averted his eyes and walked away.

*

After blocking out all the numbers and the teacher's voice for an entire period, TJ wanted to get out of the classroom as fast as he could, but Mr. Coleman called after him.  
"TJ, a word."  
TJ took a deep breath and turned around while the other students rushed past him.  
Mr. Coleman waited until they were alone before he said, "Buffy was your last shot, you're aware of that, right?"  
TJ avoided looking directly at him. "Wasn't working out."  
The teacher shook his head. "What am I gonna do with you?", he asked, but TJ didn't answer. "I'm afraid that means no basketball for you. And if your grades don't miraculously change for the better you're gonna have to go to summer school, and after _that_...", he let his words trail off.  
"Whatever," TJ mumbled with increasing annoyance. "Can i go now?"  
Mr. Coleman looked at him without another word and gestured towards the door.

 

After school, TJ did not go home right away. He could imagine a milion other things he'd rather do than get yelled at by his parents because they, too, were at their wits' end.  
Of course his legs carried him to the playground again. Sure, the swinging did help, it might be the monotony of it, focusing in a single motion and nothing else, or because it was the closest to flying a kid like him could get, but if he was being honest he went there in hopes of meeting Cyrus.  
He wasn't really the kind of person TJ would normally hang around, but maybe that was exactly why he felt drawn to him - the different perspective outside of what he knew.

But Cyrus wasn't there and the swings were taken.  
TJ stayed anyway, trying to put off going home as long as possible. He just sat down on an empty bench and watched some pigeons.

 

 

When he was no longer a part of the basketball team, TJ realized that he had very little to talk about with his friends.  
He didn't tell them about his feelings about basketball, or math, or Cyrus - especially not Cyrus. What would they think of him if they knew that he missed talking to a boy he barely knew?  
None of them seemed to care much, let alone offer to help, though. And why would they; TJ hadn't done much to earn their compassion.

It was another thing that Buffy had that TJ didn't - real friends. Friends who talked about more than sports, friends who cared about each other beyond being a part of the same convenient social group.  
TJ was sure Cyrus could be such a friend to him, and he could be such a friend to Cyrus, but he didn't exactly know how to get there.

He never talked to Cyrus at school because he was always with Buffy. Or Andi, or Jonah. They might not have hated TJ as much as Buffy did, but surely they didn't like him either.  
Thus, his best chance was to meet Cyrus at the playground, where he went to every chance he got.  
Where else would he have gone to, anyway? Not school, he couldn't get out of there fast enough every day. Not the basketball court, it only reminded him that he had lost his spot on the team, his spot as captain, even. Not home, where the only times his parents looked at him were with disappointment, and sometimes his mother would just shake her head, and he'd rather not know what she was thinking.

Days went by until he finally found Cyrus sitting on one of the swings again.  
"Haven't seen you here in a while," he said when he reached him.  
He saw Cyrus tense up the second he noticed him. Something was definitely different.  
"Oh, hi..", Cyrus replied quietly, barely looking at him directly.  
"Mind if I join you?", TJ asked and took a seat on the other swing without waiting for an answer.  
"Uh, yeah, sure," Cyrus answered, but then he stood up. "Actually, I have to go now, so..." He was about to leave but TJ stopped him.  
"Wait!", he said and tried to make eye-contact. "..Are you avoiding me?" He felt stupid for asking that. They weren't even friends.  
Cyrus bit his bottom lip and averted his eyes. "It's just.. Buffy is my best friend."  
TJ shrugged ever so slightly. "What, do you need her permission to talk to me?"  
"No," Cyrus answered and looked at him again at last. "But I'd feel like I was betraying her. I mean, the way you've been treating her.. I don't think I should be friends with you."  
The gravity of those words did not quite reach TJ immediately. "What am I supposed to do?", he asked matter-of-factly. "She hates me."  
"That's the thing," Cyrus responded with a hint of desperation in his voice. "You never gave her a chance not to."  
TJ didn't answer.  
"I'm sorry," Cyrus said, shaking his head slightly. He looked at TJ a moment longer before turning around and walking away.

TJ stayed behind, although he really wasn't in the mood for swinging anymore.

*

A few days passed and Cyrus was losing all hope that TJ actually cared about their friendship that could have been.  
He had hoped that he would be the one who got through to TJ, but apparently things like that only happened in movies, after all.  
When TJ talked to him by the swings for the first time, it did feel too good to be true.

"Hey, Cy-guy," Jonah greeted Cyrus as he walked up to him after their last period.  
Cyrus was just done stuffing some books into his locker. "Hey, Jonah," he replied, trying to dial down an over-enthusiastic smile. It wasn't that he was exeptionally happy, quite the opposite actually, but when Jonah grinned at him with those dimples... he couldn't help himself. It made him feel kind of special, even though he was pretty sure that Jonah smiled the same at everyone.  
But Cyrus liked to imagine he didn't.  
"Are you doing anything?"  
For a moment he thought Jonah was going to ask him to go to the meteor shower that was supposed to be soon. It was going to be a big event where people gathered on a field by the edge of town to watch the phenomenon.  
He would ask Jonah himself, if he were brave enough. And if it weren't for Andi, who also wanted Jonah to go with her. Not that he blamed her, of course.

But then he realized Jonah was probably talking about his plans after school.  
"Yeah, actually," he responded, but immediately regretted it. Usually he was always free for Jonah. But there was no going back now. "..I was just thinking I'd go to the playground, do some swinging, you know." He tried to play it cool but he knew he must have sounded pretty lame. But maybe it wasn't so bad and Jonah would even want to come with him! The prospect of maybe sharing this with Jonah was giving him butterflies.

"Oh," Jonah responded with a slightly confused - although still cheerful - expression. "Aren't you a little old for that?", he asked.  
Cyrus smile grew slightly weaker. "I know," he said, as if he agreed. "But I always go there when I have a lot on my mind. Helps clear my head and stuff."  
When Jonah responded, Cyrus wondered if he had been listening at all.  
"Well, the Space Otters are going out for some milkshakes and I thought maybe you wanna come too," he said with a smirk. "But if you're busy.."  
Cyrus shook his head. "Nah, the playground won't go anywhere," he said, although he would much rather have spent some time on the swings, maybe have a genuine conversation with Jonah for once instead of having to share his attention with the rest of the Ultimate Frisbee team.  
But who was he to turn down an invitation from _the_ Jonah Beck? Not too long ago it was only in his wildest dreams that Jonah wanted to hang out with him.

Jonah's grin grew even wider. "Awesome!"  
Maybe Cyrus could just go swinging afterwards.  
If TJ wasn't there, that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know tfw you want to include something but it's just not working? so yeah here's a line that ended up not fitting in lmao. an outtake if you will
> 
> cyrus: "birds are smart in their own way. some might even get metaphors"


	2. Chapter 2

TJ wasn't expecting Cyrus to show up at the playground that afternoon; he had made it pretty clear that he didn't want to be around TJ anymore.

When he did show up, TJ was all the more surprised and he perked his head up, hoping that Cyrus might have changed his mind.  
But as soon Cyrus saw him, he stopped in his tracks and turned around on his heel.

TJ didn't think it would hurt this much to be ignored by Cyrus. Sure, they barely knew each other, but he had never felt such an instant connection to another person, and he had a feeling he would regret it if he didn't try to fix this.  
The only problem was that in order to do that he'd have to kiss up to Buffy.  
But Cyrus might just be worth it.

 

So, the next day at lunch, he walked past the line in the cafeteria to grab two chocolae chocolate chip muffins, all the while ignoring the looks the other students were giving him. At least they were still intimidated enough by him not to say anything.  
With less confident steps he shuffled over to the tables, keeping an eye out for Cyrus, but only found Buffy and Andi sitting by themselves.  
He was about to back out of his plan, but when Buffy noticed him staring he figured it was too late to run away.

Buffy was looking at him with raised eyebrows as he walked up to them and put the muffins on the table.  
"Where's Cyrus?", he asked, because he would have liked to have him there too.  
"He and Jonah are doing this video thing with Metcalf," Andi answered, and TJ was glad that she wasn't acting quite as hostile as Buffy. She seemed more confused as to why TJ would even talk to them.  
"Well, if you see him could you give him this?" TJ nodded at the muffins.  
"Two? Seems a little excessive," Buffy remarked, slightly confused.  
"No," TJ answered and hesitated. "The second one's for you. If you want it."  
When Buffy didn't say anything he added, "Consider it a peace offering."  
"Are you serious?", Buffy asked in disbelief. "It's gonna take a lot more than a muffin."  
TJ sighed. "I know, I just-" He glanced at Andi. It wasn't that he had a problem with her, but he didn't want to drag any more people into this. "Could you give us a minute?"  
The tension didn't escape Andi. "Sure." Standing up she grabbed her backpack and turned to Buffy. "I'm gonna go see if Jonah and Cyrus are done. I still have to ask Jonah if he wants to go to the meteor shower." She exchanged a look with Buffy that TJ couldn't quite interpret, grabbed one of the muffins and left.

"So?", Buffy asked expectantly when TJ took a seat across from her.  
He avoided looking at her as he searched for the right words. "I want to call a truce."  
Buffy remained unimpressed. "Why all of a sudden? Do you want me to tutor you again? Because at this point you'd have to pay me to agree."  
"No," TJ replied. "This isn't about... _that_." He looked down at his hands. "Cyrus won't talk to me unless I smooth things over between us, so.."

"So, what, you want me to pretend you haven't been a massive jerk to me?", Buffy asked matter-of-factly.  
TJ looked up, but avoided her eyes. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I'm gonna try to be.. less of a jerk from now on."  
Now Buffy's interest was piqued. "All so that Cyrus will be friends with you?", she asked in a softer tone.  
TJ rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Yeah."  
"That's so sweet, who would've thought you actually have a heart?", she teased, but TJ ignored it.  
"I'm off the team anyway, so I'm just gonna stay out of your hair." He made a short pause. "So?"  
Buffy folded her hands on the table, thinking carefully. "Fine," she finally said. "But I'm only doing this for Cyrus. And if you do anything to hurt him I swear-"  
"I won't," TJ stated firmly, finally returning her gaze.  
Content, Buffy leaned back in her chair. For a moment there was silence between them and TJ thought they were done but Buffy stopped him when he was about to get up.  
"What are you gonna do about math? Cheat?"  
"None of your business," he retorted. He just wanted this conversation to be over but Buffy kept going.  
"If you get caught you'll get suspended," she said.  
"So?", TJ responded with increasing annoyance. He knew very well that he wouldn't be able to pull this off, and that he'd just end up in summer school which was a waste of time because he wouldn't understand anything there either.  
The stronger his desperation became, the less he wanted to deal with it altogether.  
"I just don't understand why you're making this so hard for yourself," Buffy said in a low voice, shaking her head lightly. "If you get a diagnosis then-"  
"Would you want to be a diagnosed idiot?", TJ hissed at her, careful not to draw attention from the other students. "You have no idea what it's like. I already know I'm always the dumbest person in the room. I don't need that in writing." He immediately regretted saying anything, he should've just walked away.  
Buffy crossed her arms at his tone. "It's not like you have anything to lose," she said coldly.  
She was right and he hated it.  
TJ took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling when he felt tears welling up in his eyes. He had already crawled up to her with his tail between his legs, the last thing he needed was to cry in front of her, too.  
"It's none of your business," he repeated, trying his best to stay calm. "Let's just leave each other alone. Deal?"  
"As long as you know that I have been way nicer to you than you deserve."  
"Yes," he responded, just to make her stop.  
"Good. Deal."  
"Thanks," he said with a sarcastic undertone and stood up before Buffy could change her mind.

 

 

"Thanks for the muffin," a voice next to him said.  
TJ had been so immersed in swinging that he hadn't noticed Cyrus approaching.  
He put his feet on the ground to halt abruptly and looked at him. "Hi," was all he got out and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards.  
Cyrus smiled back at him. "Buffy told me what happend."  
TJ caught himself staring, so he turned his head forward again. "Did she." It was more of an assessment than a question.  
He knew his conversation with Buffy hadn't exactly gone the way he had imagined it, what if he messed up again and Cyrus was only here to tell him that?  
"Yeah, she said you promised to be nicer to her."  
"..Not in those exact words," TJ admitted. "But yeah, basically."  
After a short pause, Cyrus took a seat on the other swing and said, "I'm really glad."  
TJ's smile grew a little wider. "Me too." That wasn't completely true, he still could have done without talking to Buffy at all, but Cyrus was here and that was really all that mattered.

"Hey, uhm, I was wondering," Cyrus then said, "are you going to see the meteor shower?"  
TJ had heard a few people talk about it, but didn't really think it was something he would be interested in. He shrugged. "Dunno. Why?"  
Cyrus bit his bottom lip. "Well, I was thinking, since we're all going, maybe you wanna come with us?"  
TJ assumed 'we' included Buffy, which he was everything but thrilled about, but how could he turn Cyrus down? Maybe a meteor shower was really cool, after all..  
He hesitated. "Under the condition that Buffy doesn't talk to me about... math."  
"Of course!", Cyrus assured him, "You won't even notice she's there." He tilted his head. "And don't forget you have to be nice to her too."  
TJ snorted quietly. "Sure."

*

"I still don't understand why it's TJ of all people," Buffy said as they walked across the field to find a spot among the other spectators.  
"You two just got off on the wrong foot," Cyrus responded.  
"Not sure he even has a right foot."  
"He does," Cyrus insisted. "It's gonna be fine, I'm sure."  
"If it'll make you happy," she sighed, but with a smile on her face.  
"You're the best."  
Buffy nodded. "I am."

They passed through the center of the field, where a couple of food trucks had formed a semi-circle to try and profit from the event. There was also a booth that sold t-shirts with a galaxy print, and Cyrus wasn't too sure if they even had a permit.  
"Jonah, look," he said and pointed at the shirts. "They kinda look like the Space Otter shirts."  
Jonah followed his gesture and said, "Yeah, I guess. They don't have our logo, though."  
Cyrus wasn't sure what kind of answer he had expected, but as per usual it was something he didn't quite understand. If only he knew how to decode the enigma that was the mind of Jonah Beck.

But, for once, Jonah's lack of response didn't bother him too much. He was more excited that TJ was coming too.  
Cyrus knew for sure that TJ actually wanted to spend time with him, he had even bitten the bullet and talked to Buffy for him.  
"You guys go ahead and find a spot," Cyrus said. "I'm gonna wait for TJ here so he won't get lost."  
It was already dark and the only light sources came from the food trucks, and Cyrus thought it would be rude to let TJ search for them all by himself.

After only a few minutes of waiting, he spotted TJ through the crowd when he stepped into the light.  
TJ smiled when their eyes met and did a half-jog towards him. "Hey. Sorry, I lost track of time," he said and looked around. "I thought your friends were coming too?"  
Cyrus looked up at him with big eyes, it was only in that moment that he was hit by the fact that he was hanging out with someone like TJ. Those were two worlds he didn't think would ever mix.  
"They're already here. Saving us a spot," he explained.  
"Oh," TJ responded and nodded slightly, and Cyrus thought he saw a hint of disappointment, but wrote it off as his imagination.

With their phone flashlights they made their way through all the people who had spread out blankets on the grass, some had even brought folding chairs.  
The others didn't exchange more than simple greetings with TJ, but for now that was enough for Cyrus. He was just glad they had let him invite him in the first place.

He took a seat next to Buffy, with TJ on his other side. "So, you've never seen a meteor shower before?"  
TJ shrugged. "I don't really pay attention to this stuff."  
"Well, you're in for a ride," Cyrus said with growing excitement. "And it's basically hundreds of shooting stars so we get lots of wishes."  
TJ smirked. "Oh, really?"  
"Yeah, it's the rules," Cyrus replied with conviction.  
"Well, I could use 'em, that's for sure," TJ mumbled.  
Cyrus wanted to pry, but he didn't want to overstep and risk making TJ angry.  
If only he knew how to help him.

After a while the meteors started to appear. Most of the people laid on their backs to watch, and so did Cyrus and the others.  
TJ had his hands behind his head and stared up in awe. "I'm so glad you made me come. This is awesome." He turned to look at Cyrus and gave him a big smile.  
"Yeah," was all Cyrus could get out in return. The way TJ looked at him was how he wanted Jonah to look at him, and it knocked the air out of his lungs for a second.  
He smiled back at TJ and they both looked up again.  
Part of him wanted to panic, because he recognized the feelings bubbling inside of him. They were the same he had had for Jonah for the longest time.  
He tried to tell himself that this time things might be different, but for now he just enjoyed lying next to TJ and watching the sky.

 

 

It was monday after the meteor shower. Cyrus couldn't get TJ out of his mind ever since that night, and he was probably smiling way too much while walking through the hallways of Jefferson Middle School.  
Maybe it was just infatuation because he wanted to be friends with TJ since he didn't have many guy friends - only one, in fact. And that one he had a crush on, although it seemed to have dulled compared to the fresh new surge of feelings that TJ had evoked.  
All he knew for sure was that he wanted to spend more time with him.

He didn't know TJ's schedule by heart, so everytime he could, he took the route past TJ's locker between periods, hoping to run into him.  
"Hey, TJ," he greeted him when they finally met.  
TJ smiled at him. "Hey."  
"You wanna hang out at the Spoon after school?", Cyrus asked, almost getting on his tiptoes out of excitement.  
TJ sighed and closed his locker. "I would but.. I'm grounded."  
Cyrus' smile faded. "Oh... what happened?" He wasn't sure if he was allowed to ask, but he was curious, everything had seemed fine.  
"Well.. I kinda sorta was already grounded and I technically wasn't allowed to go out to see the meteor shower, so..." He let his words trail off and bit his bottom lip.  
"So you snuck out?", Cyrus finished and a laugh escaped his throat. He would never even get the _idea_ to do something like that. And not that he approved, of course, but it made him a little bit happy that TJ had defied his parents to meet him.  
"Yeah..", TJ mumbled and looked away to hide his smirk.  
"..Why were you grounded in the first place?", Cyrus wanted to know and quickly added, "Uh, if I may ask."  
TJ pursed his lips and hesitated. "Because of my grades.." Cyrus didn't have time to respond before TJ spoke on. "I can still get visitors.. I think. I'll just tell my parents we're doing homework or something." He looked at Cyrus with uncertainty. "So, uh, if you wanna hang out at my place..?"  
"Yes!", Cyrus answered immediately and was embarrassed about his own overeagerness. "I mean, yeah, cool," he added, trying to sound more casual.  
"Cool," TJ replied with a smile.

They started walking down the hallway, although Cyrus didn't even know if he needed to go into the same direction.  
"You like video games?", TJ asked.  
"Well, I happen to have quite an impressive highscore in Candy Crush if I do say so myself," Cyrus said and paused. "Buuut judging from your expression that's not what you had in mind."  
TJ laughed. "Sounds like we have some catching up to do."

*

When the doorbell rang, TJ darted out of his room to get the door before his mother could.  
"Hi," he said calmly as if he hadn't just run down a flight of stairs.  
"Hi," Cyrus replied with a big smile.  
"You brought your school bag, good thinking," TJ said in a low voice. His mother was sure to believe that Cyrus was only here for homework.  
He stepped aside to let Cyrus in.  
"Actually, I thought we could maybe really do some homework, but I mostly brought it because I'm a terrible liar," Cyrus whispered as he entered.

"Hi, sweetie, you must be Cyrus, I'm TJ's mother," a rather short woman introduced herself as she walked across the living room.  
"Yes, hi, Mrs. Kippen, nice to meet you," Cyrus responded and shook her hand in greeting.  
"What a gentlemen," she remarked and all but clutched her chest.  
TJ had to keep from rolling his eyes. He assumed Cyrus must have been pretty uncomfortable, but he still smiled through the whole interaction.  
"It's so nice to have one of TJ's friends over again," his mother spoke on and put a hand to her mouth as if to whisper something to Cyrus, "He even cleaned his room without me having to tell him a hundred times."  
TJ had enough and decided to interject. "Moooom, stop!" He put a hand on Cyrus back to push him towards the stairs and away from his mother. "Let's get out of here."  
"Alright, boys, if you need anything I'll be right here."  
"Thanks, mom," TJ called over his shoulder with an annoyed undertone.

"Your mom's nice," Cyrus said when they reached TJ's room.  
"That's how she gets you," TJ responded.  
Cyrus seemed confused. "Is she secretly an anglerfish?", he asked in a serious tone, as if he actually believed it, and TJ couldn't help but smile.  
"No, I don't think so," he answered. "But she's always like this when I have friends over. It's like she _wants_ to embarrass me."  
Cyrus waved his hand. "Eh, you're good. I would know, I embarrass myself all the time."  
TJ laughed as he walked over to the shelf where he kept all his games. He wanted to pick a few for Cyrus to choose from, although he purposely overlooked his favorite basketball game. Well, it used to be his favorite.

Cyrus stepped closer to look over his shoulder. "I feel kinda bad for lying to her, though."  
TJ sighed, but had a soft smile on his face when he turned around to Cyrus. "Would it make you feel better if we did some work first?" He really wasn't in the mood for it, but he also didn't want Cyrus to be uncomfortable.  
Cyrus nodded with an apologetic look on his face.  
Tilting his head, TJ responded, "Fine. Anything but math, though."  
Cyrus seemed hesitant when he asked, "Why not? ..We could at least try, maybe I can help you?"  
Cyrus' expression almost broke his heart. He looked so scared of TJ's reaction and TJ hated it.  
Being intimidating was convenient when he wanted to get his way, but it sucked when it kept Cyrus from trusting him.  
He did his best to sound calm when he answered. "Trust me, you can't."  
There was a short pause.  
"..What makes you so sure?", Cyrus asked quietly. "I mean maybe-"  
"You just can't, okay?", TJ said and took a deep breath. "There's no point in trying."  
Cyrus looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. "Have you tried _everything_?"  
At a loss for words, TJ stared at him. He knew he couldn't lie to him, didn't _want_ to lie, but he didn't know if he was ready to tell the truth. Then again, the time when he was ready would probably never come.  
There was no-one he could tell how he was feeling, he didn't want to admit defeat in front of anyone.  
But maybe Cyrus was the exception.

TJ shook his head slightly. "No, I haven't."  
Cyrus followed him with his eyes as he walked over to the bed and sat down.  
"Can I tell you something?", TJ asked, curling his fingers into the bedsheets.  
Cyrus sat down next to him. "Of course, anything," he assured him.  
TJ blinked a few times when he felt his eyes well up. It took him a few moments to find his words. "There's something wrong with me," he said just above a whisper.  
Cyrus' expression was a mix of confusion and concern. "What do you mean?"  
Taking a deep breath, TJ answered, "This whole math thing. Buffy thinks it's a.. learning disability," he hesitated, "and she might be right."  
From the corner of his eye he could see Cyrus looking at him.  
"Well, if we know what it is then we can-"  
"I don't want to know!", TJ all but snapped at him. He cowered in his seat and looked down at his lap. "..I'm scared," he said quietly and wiped at his eye with the heel of his hand.  
Cyrus put a hand around his shoulders to comfort him. TJ tensed up initially, but managed to relax again.  
When he spoke on his voice was hoarse. "I'm scared that if I try, I mean _really_ try, I'll find out that I can't do it." He paused. "I'd rather not try at all."

"I get it.. I think," Cyrus said. "But.. a diagnosis is not a sentence. It just helps you so you know how to work it out."  
TJ didn't reply, he had to let Cyrus' words sink in.  
Cyrus tightened his grip on TJ's shoulder. "It's okay to be scared. I'm scared all the time!"  
TJ closed his eyes to keep more tears from falling out.  
In a soft voice, Cyrus added, "There's always a way. It's all gonna be fine, you'll see."

TJ sniffled and swallowed hard. "So what you're saying is I should get it diagnosed," he said matter-of-factly.  
Cyrus nodded. "Yeah."  
They were silent for a few moments while TJ tried to figure out what to say.  
"What am I gonna do now?", he asked, because he was absolutely clueless where to go from here and the thought of taking the next step was nothing short of terrifying.  
Cyrus still had his hand on TJ's shoulder, gently rubbing it now.  
"Well, first you're gonna have to tell someone. Your parents, Mr. Coleman," he paused. "Or if adults are too intimidating... how about you start with Buffy?"  
"How is Buffy less intimidating?", TJ asked and glanced at Cyrus with a weak smirk.  
Cyrus smiled and nudged him with his shoulder. "Come on, I promise you she'll be understanding."  
There was another short silence.  
"Okay," TJ finally said. He was overcome by a mix of emotions, fear, relief, anger, and it almost made him cry again, but he managed to avert it. He turned his head to look at Cyrus. "Can you.. come with me when I talk to her?" He knew it would be a million times easier if he had Cyrus by his side.  
"Of course! I'll make sure she doesn't bite your head off," Cyrus responded and added in a more serious tone, "Not that she would."  
TJ chuckled and smiled at him. "Thanks."  
Cyrus returned the smile, still holding on to his shoulder.

They might have stared into each other's eyes a little too long; TJ had found it hard to look away.  
Seeing Cyrus' face, his smile, was comforting, although it was making him quite nervous, too, and he wondered if it was weird to enjoy sitting so close to him.  
It was Cyrus who averted his gaze first, retracting his hand, but not moving away yet.  
"So, how about we go talk to Buffy tomorrow and we'll see what to do from there?"  
TJ looked away too, because he didn't want to be the one to keep staring. "Uh, yeah, I guess..."  
He didn't want to do it, of course, and he was still scared to death of what was coming towards him after that, but he decided to trust Cyrus.  
And, like Buffy said, he didn't have anything to lose.  
Oh how it made his stomach turn to admit that she was right.

 

That night TJ was tossing and turning in his bed. He dreaded the next day and how people might react. Hopefully Buffy and Mr. Coleman would spare him of uncompassionate looks and "I told you so"-s .  
Not only that; everytime he closed his eyes all he could see was Cyrus, making his heart race and the warmth under his blanket unbearable.  
So, he feared going to school the next morning, but he was also happy because Cyrus would be with him, which was the perfect combination for a sleepless night.  
Was Cyrus just as excited to see him?

*

"You're not gonna believe this," Cyrus said as he met up with Buffy in front of the school.  
"Try me," Buffy replied.  
Cyrus then realized that he had jumped the gun. "Hold on, let's wait for TJ." He had texted him earlier and told him where they would be.  
Buffy raised her eyebrows. "What's he got to do with it?"  
"You'll see." Cyrus was playing with his fingers as he let his gaze wander over the courtyard.  
The thought of how nervous TJ must be probably made Cyrus just as nervous.

"TJ!", Cyrus called and waved him over to them as soon as he spotted him.  
"Hi," TJ said when he reached them, and gave Cyrus a smile. Considerably less enthusiastic he turned to Buffy. "Hi.."  
Buffy's eyes jumped back and forth between them, visibly confused. "Okay, what's going on here?"  
When TJ didn't respond, Cyrus stepped to his side. He put a hand on his back for comfort. "TJ has something to tell you." He looked up at him. "Right?"  
TJ bit his bottom lip and avoided looking at Buffy directly. It took him a few moments to find his words. "I wanna talk to Mr. Coleman about my math.. thing." He hesitated and added. "I think you were right."  
Cyrus smiled at him with relief, he couldn't help but be proud.  
Buffy's eyes widened slightly. She looked at Cyrus. "How did you do that?"  
Cyrus acted as if that was an outragous assumption. "What makes you think _I_ had anything to do with that?"  
She tilted her head and raised one eyebrow.  
"With compassion and charm," he replied, winking with both eyes because he couldn't do just one.  
Still smiling because of Cyrus, Buffy turned to TJ. "So, do you want me to go with you?"  
TJ glanced at Cyrus, who gave him an encouraging nod, and back at Buffy. "..Yeah."  
Mr. Coleman would probably go easier on him if Buffy was there.  
Cyrus leaned closer to TJ and stood on his tiptoes. "See? I told you she was gonna be nice," he whispered.

 

After their last period, Cyrus stayed behind in the hallway while TJ and Buffy entered the classroom where Mr. Coleman was gathering his things after all his students had left.  
They were in there for quite a while, and Cyrus was pacing around in front of the door the entire time, unable to hold still.  
"How did it go?", he asked as soon as the door was opened.  
The first thing he noticed was that TJ's eyes were reddened, and he feared the worst, but Buffy looked rather content, causing him to relax a little.  
"He's gonna talk to my parents," TJ explained in a low voice. "And I'm gonna have to see a specialist. And after that, if it turns out I really have a learning disability.. I'm gonna get a special tutor."  
"In other words, it went fine," Buffy added, smiling softly.  
"That's amazing, TJ!", Cyrus said and TJ gave him a weak smile in return. "This calls for a celebration with baby taters, or as I call it, a tater-bration."  
"Okay, just for that you're buying," Buffy said.  
Cyrus shrugged. "That's fair."  
"Still grounded," TJ interjected and Cyrus' smile dropped.  
"Oh, right, I forgot, sorry," he said.  
"It's fine, I kinda wanna go home anyway."  
"Then I'll have to celebrate with twice as much taters, but it's okay, Cyrus is paying for me," Buffy teased.  
TJ chuckled quietly and it was music to Cyrus' ears.

"Soo, why are we still standing around? Let's go," Buffy said and was about to turn around.  
TJ stopped her. "Buffy, wait."  
She gave him a questioning look, waiting for an explanation.  
"I just.. I know the way I was treating you... was not okay." He hesitated. "What I'm trying to say is.. I'm sorry. And I really mean it this time."  
Buffy raised her eyebrows. "So you didn't mean it the first time?"  
TJ shrugged. "Sort of.. but I mostly said it because I wanted Cyrus to talk to me again," he admitted.  
Cyrus looked at the ground to hide his smile.  
"You really make me angry, you know," TJ then said.  
Buffy was visibly confused now. "Is that still part of your apology? Better quit while you're ahead."  
"That came out wrong," TJ answered, his eyes jumping around as he looked for the right words. "It's just.. You're already good at everything else and then you wanted to be a part of the only thing _I'm_ good at and... I guess I was just jealous." He paused, and without looking at her he added quietly, "I still am."  
"I see," Buffy replied. After a short silence she said, "I'm not doing this on purpose, you know. I'm not out to take your place or anything like that. But I want to challenge myself as much as I can and I'm not gonna stop doing that. So, when you come back to the team, are you gonna pass me the ball?"  
TJ bit his bottom lip and nodded. "Yes."  
Buffy's face lit up. "Great!" With a wink she added, "And I'm not good at everything. Just most things."  
TJ tried to look annoyed but cracked a smile. "Thanks."

 

"I still can't believe this actually happened," Buffy said as she took the first baby tater.  
Cyrus hadn't stopped beaming from ear to ear since they left the school. "Buffy, I am _so_ happy. I think that was such an important step for him. And I didn't even have to tell him to say all that stuff to you, that was all him!"  
Buffy squinted slightly, albeit still smiling. "So, what's going on, are you two like, besties now?"  
Cyrus looked to the side. "Not far from it, I guess." He met her eyes again and hesitated. "And I also might possibly have somewhat of a teeny tiny... big crush on him."  
"Cyrus!", Buffy responded in a hushed tone. She was smiling at first, but it dulled when she asked, "..What about Jonah?"  
"I don't know.." He shrugged. "I still like him, but.. I feel like I've gotten so used to having this massive crush on some.. made-up version of him that I didn't see him for the person he was. Not that that's bad, just... not what I wanted him to be."  
"And that is..?"  
"In love with me, for one," Cyrus explained with a flustered smile. "But also.. spending time with me for _me_ , not because I happen to be the one who tags along all the time."  
"Give him some credit," Buffy said. "I'm sure he likes you for you."  
Cyrus looked at his hands. "But not enough."  
Buffy leaned back. "And TJ is all that?" She still seemed critical of the situation.  
"I think so, yeah."  
"This is all happening pretty fast for me. Just yesterday I would've had a much harder time believing you."  
Cyrus furrowed his eyebrows slightly. "Is it.. okay?"  
Buffy's expression softened up momentarily. "Cyrus, of course. It's never not okay." She smiled. "It definitely seems like you bring out the best in him."  
Cyrus sighed with relief, beaming yet again.  
Ducking slightly, Buffy leaned in again. "..Do you think he likes you back?"  
"I'm not getting my hopes up this time," Cyrus answered, although he was saying it more to himself than Buffy. "What are the chances, right? I'm just gonna try and be his friend."  
"Whatever did he do to deserve you," Buffy sighed.


	3. Chapter 3

"So.. how did your parents react?", Cyrus asked in a low voice.  
They were standing in line in the cafeteria, Buffy, Andi and Jonah in front of them.  
"Sceptical...", TJ answered, frowining slightly. "They're coming in to talk to Mr. Coleman today." When his parents had gotten a call from his teacher, they immediately assumed he was in trouble, which, to be fair, was not unreasonable given that it wouldn't have been the first time, but he still wished they had a little more faith in him.  
He looked around and added even more quietly, "My dad said it's just an excuse for laziness."  
Cyrus brushed his hand over TJ's arm. "They'll come around, you'll see."  
"I hope you're right." He smiled softly at Cyrus, but turned his head away as to not hold eye contact for too long. He didn't want to be weird.

"What do you say, wanna give it another go?", TJ said with a smirk and nodded at the few remaining muffins on the counter.  
"I don't know," Cyrus responded with uncertainty. "I mean, isn't it kind of rude?"  
"Hey, blame it on the institution that doesn't make enough muffins for everyone." He put his hands on Cyrus' shoulders to push him forward gently. "Come on. Don't make eye contact and don't forget: you already own it."  
Cyrus glanced over his shoulder nervously and TJ gave him an encouraging nod. 

TJ watched as Cyrus shuffled past the line of students, making it very obvious that he was trying not to look at them, and grabbed a muffin before rushing back to his place in the line.  
"I did it!", Cyrus said in an excited whisper and smiled brightly at TJ.  
"I knew you could do it," TJ said and gave him a pat on the back.  
Cyrus shrugged. "Eh, it's probably because they saw me hanging out with you." He pursed his lips and hesitated. "Hey, uhm, you're gonna sit with us, right?"  
TJ hadn't even thought about that, but the fact that Cyrus wanted that made his heart beat faster.  
"Uh, sure.. if your friends are okay with that?" He looked at the others.  
"Sure," Andi said, although her expression was more confused than anything. TJ figured it was because this situation was so new. He hadn't been friends with Cyrus for that long.  
Buffy just shrugged, but with a smile on her face.  
She was making it really hard for TJ to dislike her, and he was beginning to understand why Cyrus loved her so much.

TJ slipped onto the bench next to Cyrus. He had to stop himself from smiling constantly so that no-one would ask questions.  
What would he say anyway? That sitting next to Cyrus made him happy? That he couldn't stop thinking about him even with everything else going on?

He snapped out of his thoughts when Cyrus gave him a nudge. "Everything ok?"  
The others were looking at him and he felt as if they could hear his thoughts. "Uh, yeah, I'm fine," he mumbled and took a bite of his food, which he had only pushed around on his plate until now.

"So, I was thinking," Andi said when the awkward moment had passed. "I kinda wanna give my moped a name."  
Cyrus perked up. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"  
Andi started grinning and in unison they said, "Greased Lightning!"  
"Bowie's car is the Grease Mobile so it's perfect," Andi added.  
"I actually wanted to call my first car that, but you can have it," Cyrus said.  
Andi smirked at him. "You're too generous."  
TJ looked back and forth between them. "Greased Lightning?"  
"Yeah, like in Grease," Cyrus explained, but TJ only shook his head as he still didn't follow. "The musical?" Cyrus almost seemed shocked. "Oh my gosh, we _have_ to watch it," he insisted, giving him a stern look.  
TJ chuckled because he didn't quite understand why this called for such seriousness. "Okay, sure."  
Now Cyrus was smiling again. "We don't even have to pirate it, I have the DVD," he bragged.

 

"Do you want me to wait with you?", Cyrus asked when school was over and TJ had to stay to wait for his parents.  
"Nah, you don't have to," he answered, although it probably would have helped him with his nervosity, but he didn't want to drag Cyrus further into this than necessary. "I'll just text you later."  
"Okay." Cyrus seemed hesitant. "..See you tomorrow, then."  
"Bye," TJ said, smiling softly.  
"Bye." Cyrus looked at him for a moment longer before turning around and walking away.  
TJ leaned against his locker and looked after him.

In the end Mr. Coleman convinced his parents to take him to a specialist with relatively little opposition. At this point they seemed to be willing to try everything to get TJ back on track, although his father still didn't try to hide the fact that he didn't really believe this would work.  
But as long as he allowed it TJ tried not to be too bothered.

On the car right home he immediately texted Cyrus what happened, and his reply consisted mostly of happy emojis, some sparkles and a ladybug.  
TJ couldn't really decipher it, but he understood that it was something good. He put his phone away and couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the way.

 

 

A few days later Cyrus came over again, proudly presenting his DVD of Grease before he even came in.  
TJ's mother was over the top friendly as usual, but she seemed to genuinely adore Cyrus. He was the perfect guest, after all.  
And, really, how could anyone not adore Cyrus?

"So you know absolutely nothing about it?", Cyrus asked when he plopped the DVD into TJ's laptop.  
TJ shook his head. "Only that it's super old."  
"I prefer the term 'timeless'."  
They sat on the bed with their backs against the wall and the laptop on their laps.  
TJ didn't know what he was expecting, but it sure wasn't this.  
"Why is he walking like that?"  
"Because he's cool. Cool guys walked like that in the fifties," Cyrus explained.  
"Weird."  
He found himself looking over at Cyrus a lot, especially when he was mouthing along to the songs.  
"Do you know all the lyrics?", he asked with a smirk.  
Cyrus blushed when he realized that TJ had been watching him. "Uh, yeah. We even went to a singalong once, where we dressed up like the characters."  
TJ chuckled. "Seems like something you would do."  
"You should come with us next time!", Cyrus suggested. "I bet you'd look great in a leather jacket."  
TJ turned his head to the screen again to hide his smile. "Sure."

Their shoulders were barely touching, but just sitting next to Cyrus made TJ's heart race. Throughout the entire movie he couldn't stop thinking about how he wanted to put an arm around him, but that would be awkward, right? Surely that was how he was supposed to feel about a girl instead.

When the movie was over, Cyrus looked at him with a broad grin. "So? What did you think?"  
TJ put the DVD back into its case and closed his laptop.  
"It sure was, uh, different from what I usually watch," he answered, unsure of what to say because he didn't love it nearly as much as Cyrus seemed to, but he didn't want to lie about it.  
Cyrus was visibly disappointed, but he said, "Okay, well, I know it's not for everybody."  
"I mean I didn't hate it," TJ said. "It was definitely a good distraction."  
"..Are you very nervous?", Cyrus asked, taking on a more serious tone.  
TJ's appointment with the specialist was the following day, and his stomach had been in knots ever since his mother had made it.  
"That's an understatement," he mumbled and looked down at his hands. "What if.. what if it turns out I don't have anything? Then this was all a huge waste of time and I still won't know what to do."  
"I'm sure whatever happens tomorrow is going to help you one way or another," Cyrus assured him.  
TJ only gave him an insecure look in response.  
At least Cyrus would still be here tomorrow.

*

"Why so quiet, everything alright?", Buffy asked as she entered the combination to her locker.  
"Yeah, I'm.. just a little nervous. You know, TJ's got his thing today," Cyrus answered, playing with his fingers. He looked up at Buffy. "And I kinda.. I wanna tell Andi."  
Buffy was preoccupied with her books. "Tell her what?" She paused what she was doing and turned to Cyrus. "You mean..?"  
Cyrus nodded. "I figured it might be easier now that I'm not crushing on her boyfriend anymore."  
"Huh," Buffy replied. "So that's really over?"  
"Yeah," he mumbled. "It's weird, though, I almost feel like I owe Jonah something. But it's not like he has any idea what's going on."  
"Feelings are weird."  
"Tell me about it." They started walking towards their next class. "But I think it's about time she knew. I'm tired of not being able to gossip with her about this stuff."  
"But you're not gonna start chewing our ears off about how great TJ is, right?"  
"I'm not making any promises."

 

The Good Hair Crew was meeting at the Spoon after school because Cyrus didn't want to be alone with his thoughts while TJ was being tested, and also because he wanted to have a talk with Andi.

"Are you sure you wanna eat that?", Andi asked, looking at the baby taters in front of Cyrus and up at him. "You're looking a little green." She tilted her head slightly. "Everything's gonna go fine, I'm sure."  
Cyrus bit his bottom lip. "It's not just that." He shot a glance at Buffy next to him. "Andi, I have to tell you something. It's a secret, and it's kinda big."  
Andi furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Okay?" She hesitated. "Should I be worried?"  
"No! No." He had had all day to come up with the right way to say it, but now he was drawing a blank. "You know how boys get crushes on girls and girls get crushes on boys?"  
"..Yes, I am aware", she replied, not understanding what he was getting at.  
Cyrus lowered his voice. They had their own booth but he didn't want anyone to overhear them. "Well.. I get crushes on boys, too." He held his breath waiting for Andi's reaction.  
Andi opened her mouth but no words came out. Instead her eyes jumped bewteen Cyrus and Buffy.  
"Cyrus, that's... I don't know what to say. What am I supposed to say?"  
Cyrus shrank a little in his seat. "..That you still love me?"  
Andi all but clutched her chest. "Yes! Yes, of course!" She put her hand on top of his. "I'm so glad you told me." Turning to Buffy she asked, "You already knew?"  
Buffy nodded with a soft smile on her face.  
"There's more," Cyrus said after a moment of hesitation and Andi's attention was on him again. "You might not like this but... I've had a pretty big crush on Jonah for a while there."  
"I had no idea," Andi responded, sounding almost apologetic and with a smirk she added, "But I can see why you would." She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Hold on, was that past tense?"  
"Yes, there's more," Cyrus replied.  
"Even more?" Andi's eyes widened and she leaned in to whisper, "Is it TJ?"  
Cyrus nodded, smiling at the thought of him.  
"Wow, this is a lot to take in," Andi mumbled and leaned back again. "The big mean jock, who would've thought?"  
"He's really not that mean," Cyrus defended him. "Actually, he's not at all what we thought at first."  
"Is this where the gushing starts?", Buffy teased.  
"Come on, I wanna hear it," Andi said, nudging Buffy's foot with her own under the table.  
"Well... he's nice and funny and doesn't judge me and he's really, uh, sensitive? But I think I'm not supposed to tell you that so please keep it to yourselves," Cyrus rambled while Buffy and Andi's grins grew wider. "And I know he didn't like Grease, which, frankly, is a little weird, but he tried and I appreciate that. And his smile is so.." He sighed as he searched fo the right word.  
"Cute?", Andi suggested with a smirk.  
"Yes." He paused, giving them desperate looks. "And I just realized I'm in way deeper than I thought."  
"That is so adorable," Andi said. "..What are you gonna do about it?", she asked cautiously.  
Cyrus shrugged. "Nothing I _can_ do. I mean I can't tell him, obviously. I think we've got this.. great thing going on right now, and I don't wanna ruin it." He frowned and looked at his friends with uncertainty as he spoke on quietly. "And what if he thinks it's weird?"  
"Then he's not worth your time," Buffy said without missing a beat.  
"That's right," Andi agreed.  
Cyrus pursed his lips. He knew they were right, but being ditched by TJ because he liked boys would be a straight up nightmare.  
In that moment, his phone buzzed, snapping him out of his thoughts.  
"It's him!", he said, regaining his smile in an instant. "He wants to meet up at the playground to tell me how it went."  
"Then what are you still doing here? Go, go!", Andi urged him playfully.  
He quickly climbed out of the booth and was about to leave, but then turned around again. "Hey, mind if I invite him for saturday?"  
"Sure," Buffy said, rolling her eyes with a smile.  
"Thanks." He took a few steps towards the exit, but hurried back to their table again. "I love you guys, you know that, right?"  
"Yes, Cyrus!" Andi replied and shooed him with her hands.  
"Hurry up!", said Buffy.  
Cyrus heard them giggle and he looked over his shoulder on last time to give them a flustered smile as he left the restaurant.

 

 

From far away he could already see TJ sitting on a swing and did an awkward half-jog until he reached him.  
TJ all but jumped to his feet. "Hey."  
"Hi!" Cyrus did his best to act as if he wasn't exhausted from walking here so fast. "So? What's the news?"  
TJ hesitated and took a deep breath. "Dyscalculia." He met Cyrus' eyes and added more quietly, "is what I have."  
Cyrus nodded. "Okay, sounds good. I mean, no it doesn't- I mean, it's good that we know what it is now."  
TJ frowned and averted his gaze. "It's a disability," he mumbled with a hint of disgust in his voice.  
"So?" Cyrus countered.  
Talking seemed to get continuously harder for TJ. "I guess I always knew it, I just... I thought that.. if it didn't have a name, there was still a chance it's not true."  
"It doesn't change anything," Cyrus said in a soft tone and TJ looked up at him. "You're still the same person."  
TJ sniffled and was quiet for a few moments. "Yeah," was all he said in response but didn't seem fully convinced.

Cyrus finally took a seat on the other swing. "Are you allowed to be here right now, anyway? I thought you're still grounded."  
"I am," TJ replied. "But I told my parents I wanted to tell you in person and my mom _loves_ you so she made an exception."  
Cyrus smiled to himself. "Cool." Parents usually liked him, but having the approval of TJ's parents felt extra good. "Wait, how long until you're ungrounded?"  
"Friday."  
"Oh, good," Cyrus mumbled with a relieved sigh. "Because there's this new roller disco and we're all going on saturday and I wanted to ask if you want to come."  
TJ chuckled. "You guys always do the weirdest stuff."  
Cyrus' heart sank and he stared at TJ, not knowing how to respond.  
As soon as TJ noticed his hurt expression, he added, "Weird in a good way! I wanna come. I'm just saying you make me do things I wouldn't do on my own."  
Cautiously, Cyrus smiled again. "Okay."  
TJ looked at him for a few moments, returning his smile, and turned his head forward again. "I promised not to stay too long, but I'm sure I still have some time."  
"What d'you wanna do?"  
"Swing."

*

Cyrus was the first to step onto the skating rink because he could barely wait for the others to tie their skates, but now that he was awkwardly holding on to the wall he wasn't so confident anymore.  
He grabbed Buffy's arm when she followed right after him.  
"Buffy, I need some help. I foolishly assumed I'm a natural but I was wrong," he said.  
Buffy shuffled a little closer. "I bet TJ can help you," she replied in a serious tone. Then she smirked and rolled backwards for a bit before turning around and blending in with the crowd.  
For a few seconds Cyrus kept his arm stretched out after her dramatically, but had to put both hands on the wall again when his feet threatened to slip away under him.  
"Have you never skated before?"  
Cyrus turned his head to find TJ rolling towards him slowly.  
"How did you know?", he asked with a crooked smile.  
"It's not that hard once you get the hang of it. Need a boost?", TJ asked, returning his smile.  
Cyrus glanced at the people streaming past them. "Uh, I think I'm just gonna chill here, enjoy the view."  
TJ snorted. "Come on, stand up straight."  
It took Cyrus a moment of pondering but he decided that his trust in TJ was bigger than his fear of gravity.  
"Okay," Cyrus responded and took a deep breath before letting go of the wall reluctantly.  
TJ put his hands on Cyrus' back. "Ready?"  
"No, but let's go," Cyrus replied with a slightly shaky voice and added, "Slowly!"  
"Alright." Gently, TJ started pushing him forward. "See? Not so bad."  
Cyrus wiggled his arms to stay in balance, but became calmer the farther they went. "Yeah."

"Here comes the corner," TJ said, "Put your weight on your left foot."  
Cyrus did as told but shrieked when he steered right towards the wall.  
"No, other left! Other left!", TJ called and grabbed him by the sides to slow him down.  
Cyrus bumped into the wall but managed to stay on his feet.  
TJ sighed. "Sorry, that was my fault..I meant right."  
Cyrus could tell by his expression that he was embarrassed. "It's fine, really," he tried to reassure him. "At least now I know what _not_ to do."  
TJ gave him a soft smile. "Okay. Wanna give it another go?"  
Cyrus nodded and let go of the wall again.

Just when he had gotten comfortable with being pushed, TJ let go of him and let him roll a couple of feet until he came to a halt.  
"Try moving on your own now," TJ suggested as he caught up to him.  
Cyrus' eyes widened slightly and he stood there like frozen. "How?"  
"Just.." TJ demonstrated it. "One foot after the other."  
Slowly, Cyrus moved one foot forward and stopped again. He looked to the wall, which was too far away to hold on to, and then at TJ. "What now?" He didn't know how to go on without involuntarily doing the splits.  
"Here." TJ turned around to face Cyrus and reached out his hands with the palms facing up.  
Cyrus could feel his heart beating in his chest as he put his hands atop of TJ's. For a second he forgot what they were doing and just stared up at TJ, who was giving him a shy smile.  
"Just push yourself forward."  
Cyrus blinked at him and looked down at his feet, slowly shuffling forward and tightening his grip on TJ's hands whenever he thought he was losing his balance.  
"I'm doing it!", Cyrus exclaimed and started taking bigger, more confident steps.  
TJ was keeping up with his pace and turned around every once in a while so as not to crash into anyone. "You're doing great!"

Buffy zoomed past them and looked back over her shoulder to give Cyrus a thumbs up.  
Cyrus smiled at her, cheeks bright red, and he lost his concentration, causing him to slip and almost bumping face first into TJ.  
TJ reacted quickly and gave him enough support to prevent that. "Gotcha," he said with a smirk.  
"Sorry, I forgot my feet- I mean, I don't know where my foot is- I mean, I lost my footing," Cyrus stammered, his face getting more red with every word.

Soon, though, TJ let go of Cyrus so he could try to skate on his own.  
It only took him a short while of awkward shuffling and flailing his arms around before he managed to stay relatively calm and upright. TJ stayed right next to him the entire time.  
Andi and Jonah rolled up behind them. "Look at you!", Andi said, still a little wobbly on her feet as well.  
"And no broken thumbs this time!", Jonah remarked with a grin.  
Cyrus smiled at them and was about to say something corny, but luckily a deep voice over loudspeaker interrupted him.  
"This next one is for all the couples out there."  
The lights were dimmed a little and a slow song started playing.  
TJ looked around. "Looks like we gotta get off for a bit."  
Cyrus glanced at him. "Yeah.." He tried his best not to let his disappointment show and turned around by taking lots of baby steps.  
"Don't you wanna skate with me..?", Andi asked cautiously when Jonah was about to leave the rink as well.  
"Oh, uh, sure," Jonah answered. He took Andi's hand and together they followed the crowd.  
Cyrus expected a twinge of jealousy, simply out of habit, but nothing happened. He didn't want to be in Andi's place anymore, and it was strangely freeing - to be sure that he really was over Jonah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh hey here's a line that didn't make the cut:
> 
> Cyrus: "This is a roller _disco_! would it kill them to play _one_ Abba song?"


	4. Chapter 4

TJ was walking around school like a zombie. He didn't get much sleep over the weekend because he was either laying in bed and staring at the ceiling for hours or googling things like "How do I know if I'm gay" at two in the morning. Unfortunately, the results of that were inconclusive.  
He liked making Cyrus smile, and holding his hands while showing him how to skate might not have been entirely necessary, but was that really what having a crush was like?  
On top of that, the only person TJ trusted enough to talk about this would be Cyrus himself. 

He figured the only thing he could do for now was to give himself more time. Maybe he simply had never wanted to be somebody's friend so badly before.

Trying to suppress a yawn, he walked up to Cyrus in front of his locker. "Hey, pro-skater," he greeted him and cringed internally at how awkward that must have sounded.  
But Cyrus apparently didnt think so and gave him a bright smile that made his stomach tingle.  
"Hi." A hint of concern showed on Cyrus' face. "Are you okay? You look tired."  
TJ blinked a few times. "Uh, yeah, I didn't sleep much... video games." He didn't want to have to explain himself further so he changed the topic. "Do you wanna come over today?", he asked and with a smirk he added, "It's my turn to pick a movie."  
That didn't really matter, though. Next to Cyrus he could probably sit through any movie.  
Cyrus gave him an apologetic look. "I'd love to, but today's the basketball game." Hesitating, he asked, "Do you maybe.. wanna come?"  
TJ frowned slightly. "I think I'll pass."  
"Yeah, I get it," Cyrus responded and tried to give him a sympathetic smile. "Tomorrow?"  
"Can't. Tutoring," TJ grumbled. Not being able to spend time with Cyrus was already bad enough when the reason _wasn't_ math. "The day after?"  
"Sounds great," Cyrus answered, practically beaming.  
"Great," TJ said and couldn't help but smile sheepishly himself.  
Oh, maybe he _was_ in love.

 

"Hey, Good Man!", Jonah called as he walked up to them, acknowledging TJ with a nod. "Haven't seen you at frisbee practice lately," he stated. "Just making sure we can count on you on wednesday." With the usual grin on his face he gave Cyrus' shoulder a pat and let his hand rest there.  
"We already have plans," TJ said matter-of-factly, earning a slightly confused look from Jonah.  
With wide eyes Cyrus looked back and forth between them. "Of course!", Cyrus assured Jonah and turned to TJ. "I'm sorry. Can we do Thursday?" His expression was almost pleading.  
"I have another tutoring session," TJ answered in a low voice.  
"Again?"  
TJ shrugged half-heartedly. "I have a lot to catch up on." He really didn't want to drag this topic out much longer, especially now that they weren't alone anymore. With a resigned sigh he said, "Friday?"  
"Yes. I'm sorry," Cyrus repeated and looked at Jonah again. "I'll be there."  
"Great!", Jonah said, still smiling cluelessly. "You should come too," he suggested. "The more the merrier."  
"I'll think about it," TJ replied maybe a tad too cynical. He wasn't too happy that Jonah had just made Cyrus postpone their plans. They could still hang out at the frisbee game, yes, but that just wasn't the same as when it was just the two of them. "I gotta get to class," he said, mostly because he wanted to get out of this situation, and tried to give Cyrus a smile. "See ya."

*

Jonah glanced after TJ and turned back to Cyrus. "What's his deal?"  
"He's probably upset because I'm going to the frisbee game instead of hanging out with him," Cyrus explained. He did feel bad for doing this on such short notice, but he realized he had neglected his relationship with Jonah lately. He might not be obsessed with him anymore, but that didn't mean he didn't still want to be his friend.  
Plus, now that he had gotten to know the great Jonah Beck as a normal guy, hanging out with him involved way less anxiety - and not to mention the pressure of always wanting to please him.  
"You hang out with him all the time," Jonah replied. "I've barely seen you lately."  
For a second, Cyrus considered the possibility that that meant Jonah was jealous, just like he had always second-guessed everything Jonah said, but he decided that he was done with that once and for all.  
Of course Jonah wanted to spend time with him, they were friends. And just like Buffy, Andi and TJ he deserved some of Cyrus' time and attention.  
"I know, I'm sorry," he said. "We just... really hit it off. But I promise I'll come to practice more often again. After all, what would the Space Otters do without their number one fan?" He made finger guns and for once he didn't even feel awkward about it.  
Jonah smiled. "Awesome."

"Hey, uhm, can I.. ask you something completely unrelated to this situation?", Cyrus asked. He knew he had to tell Jonah sooner or later, and he wanted to, but telling a boy was a whole different kind of scary.  
"Sure, what is it?"  
Cyrus opened his mouth but hesitated, and the bell rang before he could muster up the courage to say something.  
"Saved by the bell," Jonah said.  
"Like the show," Cyrus managed to get past the lump in his throat and gave Jonah a lopsided smile.  
Jonah creased his eyebrows in confusion. "What show?"  
Shaking his head slightly, Cyrus replied, "Nevermind."  
"Let's get to class," Jonah said. "We'll talk later, okay?"  
"Yes, later," Cyrus mumbled in response. For now he was relieved that he didn't get to continue, because he might have jumped the gun and he wasn't sure if he war really ready to have that conversation with Jonah.  
At least now he had more time to come up with the right words, but he also had time to imagine all the ways it could go wrong.

 

 

"Buffy, you were amazing!", Andi said with her arms stretched out to give Buffy a hug as soon as she returned from the locker room.  
They had just won the basketball game and Buffy was beaming from ear to ear. "Thanks. It was nice to actually play for once." She looked at Cyrus with a smirk. "Where'd you leave TJ?"  
"He didn't want to come. I think he's sad that he can't play," Cyrus explained.  
Buffy nodded and left it at that. "We're gonna go celebrate, you guys are coming, right?"  
"Absolutely!", Andi said and they went to join the rest of the team.

"By the way, what did you want to tell me this morning?", Jonah asked, catching Cyrus off guard.  
He had sort of hoped that Jonah had long forgotten about that by now, and that he didn't have to deal with it after all. "Right," he mumbled more to himself. Turning to Andi and Buffy he said, "Uh, you guys go ahead, we'll catch up."  
The girls exchanged questioning looks and Andi said, "Sure. We'll be right ahead if you need us."  
Cyrus gave them a grateful smile and they walked away.  
Jonah turned to Cyrus with an uncertain expression. "..What's going on, is it serious?"  
Cyrus barely managed to hold his gaze. "Kind of, yeah..", he replied and took a deep breath. "This.. this might seem super random but.. uh.." He still had no idea what to say. "..Do you... do you think it's weird if... boys like boys?" His voice almost gave in and he could swear he heard his heart beating in his ears.  
It seemed to take Jonah a moment to catch on and he looked more than a little confused. "Like.. when they're gay?", he asked hesitantly.  
Cyrus bit his bottom lip. He didn't expect Jonah to say it so.. directly. "Yes," he answered quietly.  
Jonah shrugged, albeit a lot more tense than usual. "I haven't really thought about it. It's whatever, I guess? Some people just are like that, right?" He kept looking at Cyrus with furrowed eyebrows. "..Why are you asking? Are you saying you're-"  
"Yes," Cyrus cut him off. He wasn't sure if he should be glad or not that Jonah wasn't being clueless for once. There was a short silence between them and the knots in Cyrus' stomach got even tighter. "I just.. we're cool, right?"  
Jonah raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, sure, totally, man." He smiled. "It's cool. Thanks for telling me."  
Cyrus had to close his eyes for a second as a wave of relief washed over him. "Thanks," he said just above a whisper.  
Jonah took his hand to pull him in for one of those bro-hugs he had practiced with Buffy.  
He probably had no idea how much that gesture meant to Cyrus. One of his biggest fears about telling Jonah was that he would become distant, downright repulsed, even.  
Cyrus was still planning on not talking about it too much, but it was freeing to know that he didn't have to keep this part of himself a secret in front of his friends any longer.  
Most of his friends, that is.  
Opening up to Jonah did make him feel a lot more optimistic about the prospect of telling TJ as well, but he didn't want to let this newfound confidence get the best of him.  
On the other hand he wanted to trust TJ, and if he was wrong to do so he'd rather know now than later, when it would hurt even more.

"One more thing, before we go back," Cyrus began but hesitated.  
"Sure, what is it?", Jonah asked and gave him an encouraging smile.  
"..I already got this far and, uhm... I don't want to have to keep this a secret, either, so.. I have a crush on TJ," he confessed.  
On Jonah's face he could see things clicking into place.  
"Oh, okay." He nodded slowly. "So, are you two like, a thing, or..?"  
"No! No," Cyrus responded and almost laughed at Jonah's assumption. "He doesn't know. And technically it _is_ still a secret. Only you, Andi and Buffy know, and I'd like to keep it that way, okay?"  
"Totally. Your secret's safe with me," Jonah assured him.  
Cyrus smiled sheepishly. "Thanks."

*

In the end, TJ wasn't too upset that they went to Jonah's game. It was fine as long as Cyrus was there, and he had to admit he had come to like hanging out with the group - even Buffy. He still didn't understand how she could have forgiven and accepted him quite so easily. She could have given him a much harder time and he couldn't even blame her, but he was glad she didn't.

They sent Jonah off with good luck wishes and waited by the sidelines for the game to start, and TJ was happy that Cyrus didn't move away even though he was standing pretty close.  
"So, heard you won," TJ said and glanced at Buffy. "Congrats."  
Buffy seemed a little surprised to hear that coming from him, but she looked pleased nonetheless. "Thanks." She made a short pause and asked, "Do you know when you're coming back?" A little more cocky she added, "I mean we won anyway, but one more player won't hurt."  
TJ snorted. "You just got lucky." His expression then turned more serious. "I don't know. Depends on how well I do on the next couple of tests."  
Cyrus looked up at him. "Are you feeling optimistic?"  
TJ shrugged. "Not sure... I'm pretty far behind," he answered quietly. He didn't want to make any promises.

When Buffy and Andi were talking to each other and TJ was sure they weren't paying attention to Cyrus and him, he leaned a little closer and said in a low voice, "I just wish my dad was a little more patient. I'm worried that he won't pay for my tutor if I don't improve _fast_."  
"That tutor knows what she's doing, right? She's gonna have you up to par in no time," Cyrus replied and put a hand on his upper arm for comfort.  
"I hope so. But it would be nice not to have to prove anything to my dad in order for him to believe me, you know?"  
"Yeah, I get it," Cyrus said and gave him an enocuraging smile. "Let's just hope for the best. You've come this far, right?"  
TJ cracked a smile. It was hard to feel bad while looking at Cyrus, especially when he was wearing that dorky jacket with enough pockets to hold everything the ultimate frisbee team might need.  
For a moment, as they were staring at each other, TJ became quite entranced with Cyrus' eyes. So much so that he almost didn't notice when they were spoken to.  
They turned their heads to find Andi and Buffy looking at them.  
"I said we're gonna get some drinks, do you guys want anything?", Andi repeated with a smirk.  
TJ and Cyrus declined and the girls took off, whispering to each other.

*

When Cyrus arrived at TJ's house it was Mrs. Kippen who opened the door.  
"He's in his room, you know the way," she said with a big smile.  
Apparently TJ wasn't worried anymore that his mother would embarrass him in front of Cyurs. Not that she could.  
As he passed through the living room he greeted TJ's father, who was sitting on the couch. Mr. Kippen mumbled a greeting in response, barely looking up from his newspaper, and Cyrus hurried up the stairs.

He didn't even get to knock. TJ must have heard him coming and opened the door, smiling brightly, and Cyrus didn't dare tell him how much he looked like his mother.  
"Hi," TJ said and stepped aside to let him in.  
"Hi," Cyrus responded in a tone softer than intended. He was just happy to see TJ. "So, what's your pick?", he asked as he entered the room.  
"Have you seen Avengers?", TJ asked but Cyrus was barely paying attention because the basketball peeking out from under the bed had caught his eye.  
"Uhm, yeah..", he mumbled in response and went to pick up the ball. "Actually, how about a quick game first?  
TJ raised an eyebrow. "You wanna play basketball?"  
"Have you touched this ball at all since you stopped playing?" Cyrus asked cautiously. He found it curious that TJ never talked about basketball, even though he supposedly loved it.  
"..No," TJ admitted and looked to the side.  
Cyrus smirked slightly. "So you're completely out of shape, which means I can probably take you on."  
TJ snorted. "I wouldn't be so sure. I could beat you in my sleep."  
"Yeah? Prove it," Cyrus replied in a challenging manner. "And besides, you don't wanna be behind when you join the team again."  
"Right," TJ said, cracking a smile.

 

They were standing in the driveway in front of the hoop above the garage, and Cyrus already knew he was going to get his butt kicked when TJ explained the game.  
"If you miss, you get a letter. And when it spells 'horse', you're out."  
Cyrus glanced up at the hoop. "Okay, sounds manageable," he said, although he wasn't feeling so confident anymore. Not that he ever thought he could actually beat TJ in the first place.

 

"Looks like I win. Again," TJ said with a playful pout after landing the tenth basket in a row.  
"Barely," Cyrus responded with a sarcastic undertone.  
TJ tilted his head. "You already got three horses."  
"Maybe that was my goal. I happen to like horses," Cyrus said, trying to sound nochalant, and TJ laughed.  
"Okay, how about this: If you make the next shot, you win. All or nothing," TJ suggested.  
Cyrus thought for a moment. "What kind of shot?"  
"Whatever you want," TJ said with a shrug.  
"Okay." Cyrus smirked and stepped directly in front of the hoop. Even he could manage an easy shot like this.

He threw the ball, it ricocheted off the hoop and hit him square in the face, causing him to stumble backwards.  
TJ rushed to him and caught him by the shoulders before he could fall. "Cyrus! Are you okay?", he asked, although judging from the sound of his voice he had to hold back a laugh.  
Cyrus turned around to him, still blinking away stars, and held on to TJ's arm for stability. "I'm fine."  
"Your nose is bleeding," TJ stated to point out that Cyrus was, in fact, not fine.  
"Is it?", Cyrus asked absent-mindedly, too distracted by how close TJ was to feel the blood coming out of his nose. His eyes widened when reality caught up to him. "It is!"  
TJ nudged him gently. "Come on, let's get my mom."  
Holding his nose, Cyrus let TJ guide him to the door. "Buffy's gonna be so mad when she finds out I've been playing basketball without her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an outtake:
> 
> cyrus: "i lied. horses terrify me."


	5. Chapter 5

Even after a few more tutoring sessions, TJ failed the first math test. He didn't even tell his parents about it, fearing his father would feel proven right and his mother would lose her last bit of hope for him.  
The only reason why he hadn't given up after that was Cyrus, who had told him that it was impossible to turn into Einstein over night, that he just needed to give himself more time, and he had said it with such certainty that TJ had no choice but to believe him.

And of course Cyrus ended up being right, which was why TJ was rushing through the hallways after math class with what was pretty much the best news ever.  
He found Cyrus standing in front of his locker like he had hoped and started walking faster, dodging other students left and right.

"How did it go?", Cyrus asked with a hopeful expression - the bruise on his nose long gone - when he saw how excited TJ was.  
"I passed," TJ replied, still not quite believing it himself.  
"Oh my gosh! TJ, that's amazing!"  
Cyrus stepped closer, as if to give him a hug, and TJ reached out his arms a litte. He wanted to hug Cyrus so badly, but they couldn't do that in the busy hallway or they would never hear the end of it.  
So they just held on to each other's arms awkwardly for a few seconds before letting go again, although not any less excited.  
Cyrus opened his mouth, but it took him a moment before he figured out what to say. "What did you get?"  
TJ waved his hand casually. "Let's not get hung up on unnecessary details. All that matters is that I passed."  
"You're right," Cyrus responded with a smirk that turned into a soft smile. "I'm so proud of you."  
TJ bit his bottom lip and averted his eyes as he got flustered. 

"Oh, Buffy!", Cyrus called and waved her over to them.  
"You two look happy," she remarked when she reached them.  
"Guess what!", Cyrus said, unable to contain himself. "TJ passed his math test!"  
Buffy's eyes widened slightly in surprise. "Congratulations!"  
TJ tried to play it cool but he couldn't hide how happy he was. "Thanks. You should've seen Coleman's face."  
"So are you coming back to the team now?", Buffy asked.  
TJ hadn't even thought about that yet, he was still jittery from excitement and could barely form a clear thought. "I don't know. I'm gonna talk to Coach as soon as I get the chance."  
"Celebration at the Spoon after school?", Cyrus asked, still beaming from ear to ear as well.  
"Sure," TJ said, "But I wanna go home first and rub it in my dad's face."

 

Later at the Spoon they took a seat in a booth; TJ had to order from the menu whereas Buffy and Cyrus had a "usual".  
Apparently Andi and Jonah were on some kind of date, but TJ hadn't quite figured out their relationship yet. They didn't really seem like a couple all that much, but then again, TJ wasn't exactly an expert in that regard.

"You guys really come here a lot, huh," TJ remarked and took a sip of his milkshake.  
"Only every other day," Buffy responded with a hint of sarcasm.  
"Once they start serving breakfast I won't need to go home anymore," Cyrus added.  
TJ just smiled and kept the fact that to him it just tasted like everywhere else to himself.

Buffy leaned onto the table as she ate and looked at TJ. "So, what did Coach say?"  
TJ pursed his lips. "He said it's not enough and to come back when I can guarantee that I wasn't just lucky this one time." The most frustrating thing about this was that people seemed to have very little faith in him, and he knew it was his own fault.  
"But that's no problem, your tutor is really good, right?", Cyrus said.  
"Yeah, she's pretty great," TJ responded and smirked. "Sometimes I even know what I'm doing." He would still rather not do math at all, but the way his tutor broke down the subject matter for him took a lot of stress off his shoulders and he didn't feel quite so overwhelmed by everything anymore.

"Nature's calling, be right back," Cyrus excused himself and slipped out of his seat. "And don't try anything, I counted my taters."  
TJ smiled to himself and tried not to look after him too obviously.  
"Do you think you can come back before the season's over?", Buffy asked, and TJ was glad he didn't have to sit there in awkward silence until Cyrus came back.  
"I hope so," he responded. "How's Craig handling himself as captain, anyway?"  
"I wouldn't go so far as to say I miss you being captain, but the team's walking all over him," Buffy answered.  
"Well, I'm not gonna be captain again," TJ said with resignation in his voice. "And I doubt they would want that anyway. I wasn't really, uh.. nice to them," he mumbled.  
"How self-reflective of you," Buffy said with pretend admiration and smirked. "Cyrus was the best thing to happen to your personality, huh."  
Normally, TJ would have countered with something snippy, but by Buffy's tone he could tell that she had no malicious intent. Almost as if they had become friends.  
He couldn't help but smile and tried to hide it by taking a bite of his food. "Lucky me," he mumbled without meeting her eyes.

"What did I miss?", Cyrus asked when he returned.  
"Not much," Buffy responded and exchanged looks with TJ. "Just basketball talk."

Changing the topic, Buffy asked, "Do you wanna go to the carnival next week?" She turned to Cyrus with a slightly concerned expression. "Or is it too soon?"  
TJ looked at Cyrus. "Too soon?"  
Cyrus shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Well, last time I kind of.. got sick on a ride and threw up in my shoe."  
TJ laughed out of reflex, but stopped when he noticed how embarrassed Cyrus looked. "Sorry," he mumbled. "But.. how?"  
"I panicked!", Cyrus defended himself. "I was on a date and didn't know what else to do!"  
TJ was surprised to hear that. Not that he thought Cyrus couldn't get dates, but he had never mentioned anything like that before. Technically, they didn't even know each other then, but hearing that Cyrus went on dates with other people was still.. a little disheartening.  
"Yet she still became your girlfriend," Buffy remarked with a smirk, shaking her head slightly.  
"Girlfriend?", TJ repeated and looked at Cyrus with raised eyebrows.  
Cyrus seemed hesitant when he explained it. "Her name was Iris. I mean, that _is_ her name, she's still alive. But we broke up."  
TJ wasn't sure what to make of it. Was it weird to feel like it somehow diminished his chances of.. what, becoming Cyrus' boyfriend? Did he have any chances in the first place?  
He felt his face getting hot and did his best not to let on how anxious the situation was making him.  
Praying that his voice wouldn't give in, TJ asked, "How come you never said anything?"  
Cyrus shrugged. "There's not much to tell," he answered without looking at TJ directly.  
Buffy's eyes jumped between them. "Soo, carnival, yes or no?"  
"You don't have to go on any rides," TJ added. He didn't mind it much, he was mostly looking forward to impressing Cyrus by winning some prizes.  
Cyrus seemed to relax a little. "Alright, can't be worse than last time, can it?"

 

 

The carnival was a more than welcome distraction for TJ. He was doing more math than ever before and it was starting to make him feel like a hamster in a wheel.  
But when he didn't have random numbers dancing around in his head it was usually because he was thinking about Cyrus, and how he was always excited for the next time meeting him.

They were walking past all kinds of different booths, stopping here and there to play games or buy food - which was mostly cotton candy and chocolate-covered everything.  
"Oh, let's go on the ferris wheel!", Andi suggested. "This time Amber can't trap me."  
"What happened?", TJ asked. He had heard of this Amber girl before and Andi's comment made him curious.  
"Long story," Andi answered, sounding exhausted just from thinking about it.  
TJ didn't pry further because he didn't know if it was his place to do so. Cyrus' friends seemed to have accepted the fact that TJ was tagging along with their little group quite often lately, but did they actually consider TJ a friend or did they just tolerate him for Cyrus' sake?

"I'll wait down here," Cyrus said when they reached the ferris wheel.  
"Why don't you give it a try?" TJ knew Cyrus wouldn't fall in love with him just because they were on a ferris wheel like in a movie, but he could still hope it would happen..  
Besides, maybe Cyrus would find out he could like some rides, after all.  
Cyrus hesitated and looked up at the very top of the wheel. "I don't know.. it's really high."  
"Come on, it's gonna be great," TJ said and put an arm around his shoulders to push him along gently.  
Cyrus complied, but when it was almost their turn to get on, he took a step back, freeing himself from TJ's hold. "I changed my mind, I can't do this."  
"Sure you can," TJ said, trying to sound encouraging, but Cyrus shook his head.  
"No, I.. it's too high and it's moving and it doesn't look so stable, I bet there's a screw loose somewhere and-"  
TJ took his wrist to pull him closer again. "It's completely safe, I promise," he assured him. He was sure that Cyrus would get over his fear if only he tried, just like on the swing.  
Cyrus yanked his hand away and stopped walking.  
TJ opened his mouth but Buffy interjected before he could say anything.  
"TJ, he doesn't want to," she said firmly.  
He turned to look at her and then back at Cyrus, who cast down his eyes in embarrassment.  
"Okay," TJ said with resignation in his voice. "..Can I wait with you, then?", he asked cautiously, hoping that Cyrus wasn't upset with him.  
Cyrus nodded and together they walked to a nearby bench.

They took a seat, both of them awkward and rigid, and farther apart than TJ would have liked.  
TJ watched the ferris wheel absent-mindedly while Cyrus kept his eyes on the ground, neither of them saying a word.  
Eventually, TJ couldn't take the silence any longer. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, even though he didn't really understand what had happened, only that it must have been his fault.  
"Me too," Cyrus responded, still looking down.  
TJ turned his head to glance at him. "What are you sorry for?"  
"Being a coward," Cyrus said. "You probably think it's super lame that I can't even go on a ferris wheel."  
"What?" TJ furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "I don't care that you can't do that. I just thought.." He hesitated. "..You made me do things I was scared of and it all turned out fine, so I figured I could do the same for you. I didn't mean to make you feel bad."  
"Yeah, I know," Cyrus said with a sigh. "Maybe I can do it _someday_ , but not today." He shrugged. "Plus there's also the thing where I threw up in my shoe and I don't know what my parents are gonna do if that happens _again_."  
TJ chuckled. Biting his bottom lip he looked at Cyrus. "So.. we're good?"  
Cyrus smiled. "Yeah, of course. But please don't try to get me onto a giant metal wheel of death again."  
"Noted," TJ replied, cracking a smile. He had already forgotten how nice it would have been to ride the ferris wheel with Cyrus; sitting on a bench next to him was probably just as good.  
The only thing that would make this moment better if TJ could muster up the courage to take Cyrus' hand like he wanted to.  
He shot a glance at their hands between them, only inches apart, and when he looked up he met Cyrus' gaze.  
Did Cyrus somehow figure out what TJ was thinking? Or could he be thinking the same?  
They held eye-contact for a moment before looking away again.

 

TJ couldn't help but wonder if he was just imagining it all. They would always stand closer to each other than necessary, look into each others' eyes longer than needed, smile at each other even though nothing funny had happened, but Cyrus was affectionate with all his friends. TJ saw it all the time with Buffy, Andi and even Jonah, so by interpreting any of Cyrus' gestures as romantic he was just setting himself up for disappointment.  
He knew being gay could come with all kinds of problems - he had read all about it on the internet - which was already unfair enough, but falling in love with a straight boy really was just extra cruel.

As time went by, his desire to talk to Cyrus about all of this grew stronger. After all, he could tell him everything, right?  
And even if Cyrus didn't want to be his boyfriend, surely he would keep being his friend.  
Right?

 

 

When the time of TJ's next math test came, Cyrus waited with him - and risked a tardy - until the class started to try and keep his nervosity at bay.  
Cyrus put his hands onto TJ's shoulders. "You studied really hard. You got this," he said, looking firmly into TJ's eyes.  
TJ wanted to tell him that he wasn't exactly making him any less nervous by being so close, but that was a can of worms he'd really rather not open minutes before a test.  
Instead he just nodded, hoping that he wouldn't forget everything he had learned in tutoring.  
"Meet me by the swings after school?", TJ asked. "I feel like I'm gonna need it either way."  
"Sure," Cyrus replied and looked up at TJ with a warm smile.

TJ found Cyrus waiting by the edge of the playground since the swings were taken and jogged over to him.  
"How did it go?", Cyrus asked immediately.  
"Okay, I think," TJ answered with uncertainty, a little out of breath from hurrying over here as fast as he could. "But you know what Coleman said?", he asked but didn't leave Cyrus time to guess. "If I pass I can get back on the team! Because I've improved so much and turned in all my homework and stuff."  
"I knew you could do it! I'm so proud of you!", Cyrus replied, sounding even more excited than TJ, and stepped closer to hug him.  
TJ was caught off guard, but quickly wrapped his arms around Cyrus, hoping he wouldn't hear his heart beating in his chest.

When Cyrus let go, he didn't let go all the way. They were still holding on to each other, their eyes met, and before TJ could stop himself he leaned forward and gave Cyrus a kiss.  
Surprised and shocked by what he had just done, he immediately took a step back.  
Cyrus was staring at him with wide eyes and he felt his stomach tie up in knots.  
"TJ..", Cyrus said, almost whispered, and TJ could not for the life of him decipher what it meant.  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to- I can explain," TJ said, even though he wasn't sure if he could, and his voice was all but pleading.  
"It's okay, it's okay," Cyrus said, probably to calm himself down as well, and took a deep breath. "Wha.. what does- why-", he stammered, unable to get the words out.  
"I'm sorry," TJ repeated. At least Cyrus didn't run for the hills, which made him hopeful that he would still be able to fix this. "I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how and I was scared and.." His voice almost gave in. "Cyrus.. I think I'm gay." He made a pause to muster up the strength to speak on. "And I really, really like you."  
Cyrus just kept staring at him, and TJ didn't know what to make of his expression. He almost looked scared.  
Panic started to rise up inside TJ. "But, but it's okay if you're not, I mean, we don't have to talk about it. I just want us to stay friends and I promise I-"  
"Me too," Cyrus interrupted him.  
TJ's mouth was still open and he almost didn't comprehend Cyrus' words. "..What?"  
A shy smile formed on Cyrus' lips and he hesitated before he said, "..I'm gay. And I really, really like you too."  
It took TJ a few moments to adjust to the turn of events. He exhaled with relief and let out a laugh.  
Cyrus wiped over his eyes, still a smile on his face, and looked at TJ again. "Should we.. maybe sit down somewhere?"  
TJ looked around when he remembered that they were in public, but to his relief neither the little kids on the swings nor the adults supervising them were paying any attention to them. He simply nodded, too excited to talk, and they went to find a shady spot under a tree farther away from the other people.

*

They were sitting cross-legged on the ground, facing each other, and TJ was ripping out some grass while Cyrus played with his fingers.  
"So, uhm," Cyrus began. He had so many questions and no idea where to start. "..Does that, uh.. do you want to be my boyfriend now?"  
TJ cracked a smile and looked at him, but couldn't hold eye-contact for long. "Yeah, I thought that was obvious."  
"I just want to be absolutely sure," Cyrus said. "I mean, this is kind of a big deal."  
"Yeah, I know," TJ responded. He let his gaze wander over the playground but kept glancing at Cyrus. "How did you know?"  
Cyrus looked down at his hands. "Jonah," he admitted. "But.. I don't know, I thought I could get over it and I really tried to make it work with Iris but I just- I was lying to myself. And to her." With a light shrug he added quietly, "This is who I am." He watched TJ's face closely. "What about you?"  
"I'm not sure," TJ responded and pondered for a moment. "When all the guys started talking about girls.. I couldn't really wrap my head around it. But I thought it would happen to me too eventually, maybe I just hadn't met a girl yet that I would like like that." He looked at Cyrus. "But then I met you instead."  
Cyrus couldn't help but smile. He had tried so hard not to get his hopes up so he wouldn't be disappointed like he had been with Jonah, and now having his feelings reciprocated seemed almost unreal.  
Hesitant, TJ continued. "I don't even know if I'm actually gay or.. or something else.. All I know is that I really like you and I want to be your boyfriend."  
"It's official, then," Cyrus said, almost grinning at this point.

TJ had a bright smile on his face as well, but it faded when he asked, "But can we keep it a secret? I don't really want people to know yet."  
Cyrus nodded. "Yeah. I'm not exactly ready to announce it either.." He bit his bottom lip. "What about Buffy, Andi and Jonah? I mean, I already told them I have a crush on you, so.."  
TJ thought for a moment. "..That's okay, I guess. But I wanna tell them together."  
"Of course!", Cyrus responded exitedly. "They're gonna be so happy for us!"

With a glance to the side TJ said, "Speaking of Jonah... You're not.. still.."  
"No," Cyrus replied immediately. "I'm totally over him, I promise."  
"Okay," TJ simply said.

"By the way," Cyrus began, "it went well this time but i don't think you should kiss people without asking like that."  
"I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to blindside you like this." TJ gave him a shy smile. "..Can I kiss you now?"  
Cyrus felt his cheeks flush. "Yes."  
They looked around to make sure nobody was watching them before they leaned forward for a quick peck on the lips.  
Afterwards, Cyrus couldn't even look TJ in the eyes because he was so flustered and nervous.  
In a good way.

 

 

The next morning Cyrus was practically floating through the hallways of Jefferson Middle School but he was trying his best to look inconspicuous.  
Somehow he couldn't get rid of the feeling that everyone who so much as glanced at him in passing just _knew_.  
Cyrus would have loved to brag about how he was able to land a guy like TJ, but they had agreed that it was best to keep it a secret until they both felt comfortable with people knowing about them.

However, Cyrus was dying to tell his friends, and he was on his way to ask if they could meet at the Spoon after school.  
"Buffy, heeeeey," he greeted her when he found her by her locker.  
He crossed his arms and leaned against the lockers in an attempt to act casual, and for some reason he didn't stop despite realizing that it was totally backfiring.  
"Hey to you too," Buffy replied and eyed him suspiciously. "What's up with you today?"  
"Pff, what? I'm the same as always," he responded while trying to find the most natural position for his hands, unsuccessfully.  
Buffy raised her eyebrows in amusement. "You're acting weird. Weirder than usual."  
"Why would I do that? It's not like I have a secret or anything," Cyrus responded and then quickly changed the subject before he could dig himself into a bigger hole. "Anyway, I wanted to ask you if you want to go to the Spoon today?"  
"We practically live there, I think I can make it," Buffy answered and gave him a confused smile when Cyrus jumped on his tiptoes in excitement.  
"Okay. Okay. Good. Great," Cyrus mumbled, calming down as best as he could. "Now I need to find Andi and Jonah." He was about to take off but turned around again. "No reason. I just.. want us all to, you know, hang."  
Buffy just nodded as she looked after him.

*

"So, what's the big secret?", Buffy asked when they were settled into a booth at the Spoon.  
Cyrus' shoulders dropped. "What? How did you know there was a secret?"  
Buffy simply tilted her head.  
"..I'm a director, not an actor..", Cyrus grumbled.

TJ glanced at him with a smile.  
In fact, he had smiled so much in one day that he was beginning to wonder why his face muscles weren't hurting.  
That morning even his father had asked him what he was so happy about, and he was really not one to notice these things.  
TJ had just told him that it was because of math, which was not entirely false, but only the thought of Cyrus could put such a goofy smile on his face.

"So?", Andi prompted Cyrus when he hesitated to answer.  
He turned to TJ and whispered, "Are you sure?"  
TJ took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah." He knew the three of them would react positively, but it was still a very foreign feeling to reveal that kind of personal information to other people.

In their faces he could see that they were already beginning to guess what Cyrus was about to say.  
"So..", Cyrus kept his voice low because of the other people in the restaurant. "TJ and I.. we're together now, as in, a couple."  
TJ noticed the blush on Cyrus' cheeks and figured that he himself probably didn't look any better.  
But they were both smiling as they braced themselves for their friends' reactions.  
"Cyrus!", Andi blurted out, struggling to keep her voice down as well.  
She exchanged looks with Buffy, both grinning from ear to ear.  
"Since when?", Buffy asked.  
"Yesterday..", TJ responded, hoping that he wouldn't have to elaborate on how he had kissed Cyrus by accident.  
He glanced at Jonah, who was much more reserved than the girls, but he was wearing his usual cheerful smile and said, "Well, congratulations."  
"Thanks," Cyrus mumbled and turned to TJ, nudging him with his shoulder playfully.  
TJ really felt like giving Cyrus a kiss - after all it had been almost an entire day since the last time they had kissed - but he didn't want to do it in front of the others, let alone in a place with so many people.

"That's amazing," Andi said. "We can go on double dates! Right, Jonah?"  
Jonah seemed surprised to be adressed and quickly mumbled, "Yeah, sure."  
"We haven't even _been_ on a date yet," Cyrus said.  
"Then let's do it," TJ suggested. He had never really been interested in going on dates, but then again he had never considered dating as something he could do with a boy.  
Cyrus' face lit up. "Yes!"

"Guys," Buffy interrupted. "I'm really happy for you but _please_ promise me I'm not gonna be the fifth wheel from now on."  
"No! Never!", Andi assured her.  
"Promise," Cyrus added.  
"Good, I'm holding you to that," Buffy said, but with a hint of a smirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (the following outtake contains a reference that might be considered a spoiler, phil.)
> 
> All TJ knew about Marty was that one day he just stopped talking to Buffy. Like when an actor leaves a show so their character is killed off.


	6. Chapter 6

"Thanks yo much for coming, guys. I really need all the help I can get," Andi said when she led her friends into the living room, where several boxes full of crafting supplies were already waiting.  
She had volunteered to take care of the decorations for the upcoming school dance but realized that she was in way over her head.

Cyrus, TJ and Buffy took a seat on the couch and Andi started spreading out the supplies on the table.  
"Hey, Andi's friends," Bex greeted them when she entered the room. She was smiling, but tilted her head slightly at TJ. "You're new."  
"TJ," he introduced himself.  
"He goes to Jefferson, too," Cyrus added.  
He was sure Bex would have been cool if he had introduced TJ as his boyfriend, but he didn't want to do that without making sure it was okay with TJ.

"Is Jonah not coming?", Bex asked.  
Andi pursed her lips. "No, he's got something more important to do than helping his girlfriend."  
All Cyrus knew was that it had something to do with frisbee and he wondered if Andi was still jealous of that Natalie girl.  
He didn't want to say it out loud in case it would upset Andi, but he was really glad that he didn't have to be jealous anymore and that he finally had someone all to himself.  
"But you're not busy right now, right?", Andi asked, steering the conversation away from Jonah. "Can you help us?"  
Bex sighed, albeit with a smile. "Sure. What do you need?"  
"For the buffet table I was thinking paper stars," Andi replied.  
"Not it," Bex said without missing a beat. "Anything but those darn stars."

Andi explained how to fold the paper stars to the others, and while Cyrus and Buffy got the hang of it rather quickly, TJ seemed to have some trouble keeping up.  
"How many do we need, anyway?", Buffy asked.  
"At least 200," Andi answered.  
"I can't even count that high," TJ said.  
At first Cyrus was slightly taken aback, but smiled with relief when he saw the smirk on TJ's face. "You're not trying to get out of this, are you?", Cyrus asked.  
TJ looked at the small pile of failed attempts in front of him. "No, but is there something else I can do? This isn't really working out."  
"You can help me with the banner," Bex suggested from her spot on the floor.

TJ took a seat in front of her and grabbed a paintbrush.  
Bex leaned forward a little. "Don't beat yourself up about it, I never get them right either," she said with a wink.

It was getting late when Andi brought them to the door. "Thanks again, you guys are life savers."  
"I know," Buffy replied with a grin.  
"Your mom seems pretty cool," TJ remarked when they put on their jackets.  
Andi smiled. "Yeah. Sometimes she's like a sister."

"You coming?", Buffy asked as she stepped down the stoop.  
Cyrus was about to follow her but TJ put a hand on his shoulder to hold him back.  
"Go ahead, I wanna talk to Cyrus."  
Buffy seemed curious, but she simply responded, "Okay, see you tomorrow, then."

"Bye," Cyrus said and turned to TJ, slightly alarmed because he had sounded so serious. "..Is everything okay?", he asked cautiously.  
"Yes!", TJ reassured him immediately. "Everything's great. I, uhm, yesterday you said you wanted to go on a date with me and I thought we could maybe go to the museum? I read that they have this new exhibit about-"  
"The cretaceous period! I know!" Cyrus looked at him with big eyes. "I didn't know you were interested in that kind of stuff?"  
TJ shrugged. "It said they have T-rex bones so I figured it'd be cool."

Cyrus was beaming and threw his hands around TJ's neck. "That's perfect. Thank you," he mumbled into TJ's shoulder.  
They were holding on to each other for a few moments before Cyrus brought some space between them, stood up on his tiptoes and gave TJ a peck on the lips.  
A flustered smile formed on TJ's face and he leaned in to kiss Cyrus again, but the door was opened and out stepped Bex with a trashbag in her hand.  
They jumped apart and turned their heads away.  
"What's going on here?" Bex raised an eyebrow.  
Cyrus shot a glance at TJ but neither of them knew what to say. There was no point in lying, it must have looked pretty unambiguous.  
"Please don't tell anyone," Cyrus said quietly.  
"I won't," Bex responded in a soft voice. "Does Andi know? And Buffy?"  
"And Jonah," Cyrus added.  
Bex nodded. "Alright. I saw nothing," she assured them.  
"Thanks." Cyrus looked at TJ again, who seemed more than relieved as well.  
Bex put a hand on Cyrus' shoulder and smiled at them both.

*

After math class, Mr. Coleman asked TJ to stay behind to talk about his latest test results.  
The teacher didn't look like he had good news and TJ frowned.  
"I graded your test," he said and confirmed what TJ had feared, "You didn't pass."  
TJ's shoulders dropped. "That's impossible! I studied so hard", he complained. "Does that mean I still can't play basketball?"  
"I'm afraid so," Mr. Coleman replied.  
TJ huffed. "That's not fair. How much more am I supposed to do?!"  
"It was just one test, nothing to get worked up about just yet," Mr. Coleman said calmly. "But I wanted to make sure that this was a slip-up and that you're not going to fall back into old patterns."  
"No! I won't." TJ averted his eyes. "Are we done here?"  
"You may go."

TJ hurried out of the classroom while texting Cyrus frantically.  
They met up in a hallway where TJ pulled Cyrus into the boy's bathroom.  
He checked under ever stall door to make sure they were alone before he turned to Cyrus, barely able to hold eye-contact.  
"TJ, what's going on?", Cyrus asked, sounding slightly alarmed at TJ's visible distress.  
TJ took a small step towards Cyrus and hesitated, trying to keep his lips from quivering. "..I uhm, I could really use a hug right now," he said, his voice almost giving in.  
Cyrus didn't need to be asked twice and let himself be pulled into an embrace by TJ.  
"I failed the test and I can't play basketball," he mumbled and a sob escaped his throat.  
"Oh, TJ," Cyrus sighed and tightened his hold around him.  
In order to calm down TJ tried to focus entirely on Cyrus. He couldn't even begin to describe how glad he was to have someone to lean on, someone he could be vulnerable with and not fear that they would judge him.

"You're not giving up, though, are you?", Cyrus asked quietly after a while.  
TJ pulled back and wiped over his eyes with the back of his hand.  
Cyrus watched his face closely. "You know you can't turn into Ein-"  
"Einstein over night, I know," TJ finished the sentence and cracked a smile, although it faded again right away. "But it's already been so long and I'm so sick of it. I really thought I was doing well and..", he let his words trail off.  
"You _are_ doing well," Cyrus said. "Don't let one test ruin everything you've achieved so far."  
"I can't even make those stupid paper stars, how am I ever gonna get my driver's license? You know how many numbers I have to know for that?" It took TJ a lot of self-restraint to keep his voice down.  
"No."  
"Too many!" TJ sighed to regain his composure. "I just.. hate math," he mumbled.

"You know what I hate?", Cyrus asked and turned to look at TJ and himself in the mirror.  
"What?" TJ followed Cyrus' gaze and noticed how red his eyes had gotten, but he wasn't really embarrassed about it. At least not in front of Cyrus.  
"That we can't go to the dance together. You know.. _officially_ ," Cyrus answered and tilted his head to lean onto TJ's shoulder.  
TJ looked at their reflection contemplatively. "I think it's the others who are missing out. We look really good together."  
That made Cyrus smile. "That's because we're both winter types."  
TJ snorted and nudged Cyrus' head with his own.  
"One day, when I'm a famous screenwriter slash director, you'll be my plus one when I collect my numerous awards," Cyrus said with conviction. "No secrets."  
"Can't wait," TJ replied and gave Cyrus a kiss on the cheek, causing him to giggle.

They stood there in front of the mirror, leaning onto each other, and TJ wanted to stay like this for a while longer but they had to let go in case somebody would come in who wasn't quite as cool as Bex.

"What are you gonna tell your parents?", Cyrus asked.  
TJ shrugged. "Nothing. They'd just ground me again and I don't wanna miss our date," he said with a hint of a smile but continued more glumly, "And I don't know what my dad would do. He's just starting to think that he isn't throwing money out the window. I don't want to ruin that."  
Cyrus's eyes jumped between spots on TJ's face. "Are you gonna be okay?"  
TJ didn't want him to worry, although he knew that Cyrus worried all the time, and the genuine care in Cyrus' face made him melt. "Only if I get a kiss from my boyfriend," he said with a fake pout.  
With a flustered smile Cyrus glanced over his shoulder at the door, even though there hadn't been any sign of somebody coming in, and then stepped a little closer again to do as asked.  
When they broke apart again, TJ smirked. "I think I'll be fine."

*

Cyrus was waiting by the entrance of the museum for quite a while but he knew that he had brought this on himself because he didn't want to risk being late and had arrived way too soon.  
He kept checking his hair, his collar and his breath even though he knew that everything was as perfect as it could get - except for the fact that he had accidentally used too much of his stepdad's cologne and wasn't sure if he had washed it off well enough.

When TJ was dropped off, Cyrus immediately noticed that he was wearing regular clothes and had to avert a small panic because now he felt totally overdressed in his button-down shirt.  
TJ seemed to notice too because he was frowning slightly as he walked up to Cyrus.  
They looked around at the other museum visitors and settled for a simple "Hi".  
"Sorry," TJ began. "I would've worn something more fancy but I told my parents I was meeting you and I didn't want them to get the wrong idea if I got all dressed up."  
"Well, technically they would have gotten the _right_ idea," Cyrus replied and smirked.  
TJ rolled his eyes playfully. "Come on, let's look at some dinosaurs."

Once inside, they made their way through different rooms full of fossils, replicas and even some creepy animatronics while Cyrus kept telling TJ random trivia about the things they saw, although he avoided using too many numbers, because he knew that that kind of information was neither useful nor interesting to TJ.  
He went on a tangent about why the Ankylosaurus was his favorite, but when he noticed that TJ was just staring at him he broke off in mid-sentence. "..Sorry. I know I can get rambly about this stuff," he said quietly.  
TJ's eyes widened slightly. "No, it's fine, really!", he reassured him. "It's.. it's really cute that you're so excited about dinosaurs," he added in a low voice with the corners of his mouth twitching upwards.  
Cyrus smiled with relief. He wanted to do something, take TJ's hand or hug him or kiss him, but there were too many people around, so he decided to simply return the compliment. "You're cute too. Like, all the time."  
TJ averted his eyes, a smile on his lips and visibly flustered as well. "And besides, that Anklesaurus seems really cool."  
"Ankylosaurus," Cyrus corrected him, trying not to grin.  
"That's what I said," TJ replied and gave Cyrus' shoulder a playful nudge.

On the far end of the room there was a life-size depiction of a T-rex, where the location of the bones that were displayed in a case next to it were highlighted.  
To TJ's apparent disappointment all there was were some knuckles and the unshapely part of a big toe.  
"I was kind of expecting an entire T-rex," he admitted.  
"I'm sorry, I should've warned you." Cyrus gave him a sympathetic smile. "I don't think they have that kind of funding."  
"At least now I know how big they were, I guess," TJ said, staring up at the giant picture. "I could never really imagine it."  
Cyrus followed his gaze. Even though it wasn't a real T-rex, he still found it impressive. "You know, I love dinosaurs but I'm really glad they're all dead."

"Let's take a selfie," TJ suggested and reached into his pocket.  
"I don't think they allow pictures in here," Cyrus said and looked around the room for staff members.  
"We're not part of the exhibit," TJ replied and added more quietly, "I wanna remember this."  
Although Cyrus was still worried they would get in trouble, there was no way he could say no. "Okay."  
TJ smiled and put an arm around Cyrus' shoulders to pull him close. "Say 'dinosaur'!"

 

After they had finished the tour they waited by the entrance for their parents to pick them up.  
"Thanks, for doing this with me, TJ," Cyrus said. "I know I'm a huge nerd."  
"Don't say that," TJ replied, tilting his head slightly. "I mean, you _are_ a huge nerd.. but I like that about you." He made a pause before he added, "And it doesn't really matter what we do.. as long as I get to spend time with you." He looked at the ground, too embarrassed to hold eye-contact.  
People were passing them left and right, but Cyrus decided that a hug was innocent enough. Besides, it was nobody's business anyway.  
He closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around TJ.  
When he let go, he noticed his mother's car pulling up.  
"Oh, that's my mom," he said, not trying to mask his disappointment. "See you tomorrow?"  
"Sure," TJ replied with a smile that almost made Cyrus forget to leave.

Later that day, TJ sent him their selfie and Cyrus immediately posted it into his groupchat with Buffy and Andi along with lots and lots of hearts.  
Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought that someone like TJ would ever care about him, let alone make him so incredibly happy.

 

 

 

The dance was drawing nearer and Cyrus was excited. It was a huge downer that he wasn't going to be able to share a dance with TJ, but he tried to stay optimistic nonetheless.  
As he and TJ were walking through the hallway on the way to their lockers, he wasn't too concerned that the other students would pay attention to them but he still kept his voice down.  
"Okay, let's talk suits," Cyrus began, and TJ didn't seem to know what he was in for. "We can't make it too obvious that our outfits are coordinated, because, you know, but I'd still like us to kind of match so that it'll look good in pictures but it _could_ be a coincidence. Of course we could always go with black classics but what is this, a funeral?" He stopped to catch his breath but didn't give TJ enough time to react. "How about you just text me your tie options when you get home and we see where to go from there?"  
TJ blinked at him, seemingly still processing everything he had said. "I have one tie."  
"What color?", Cyrus asked maybe a tad too seriously.  
"Blue."  
Cyrus exhaled with relief. "Okay, I can work with that. But if need be you can borrow one of mine."  
"Thanks," TJ replied with a smirk.

Cyrus' phone buzzed with an emergency text from Buffy so he had to part ways with TJ.  
"See you later?", TJ asked.  
"Yeah." Cyrus hoped that his dopey smile was enough to convey that he'd like to kiss him. Before he turned to walk away he said, "Oh, and don't forget to tell me your opinion on bow ties! Okay, bye!"  
TJ chuckled. "Bye."

 

Buffy and Andi were already waiting for him by his locker and their grim expressions did not bode well.  
"I got your text. What's going on?", he asked, getting more worried by the second.  
Buffy turned her head to Andi to let her have the word.  
"Jonah and I broke up," Andi said dryly.  
"What? Why?" Cyrus knew that their relationship had been rocky from the start, but he thought they'd be able to work through their problems.  
On a more selfish note he was relieved that this breakup didn't happen while he was still interested in Jonah, because he knew deep down he would have been happy about it and it would have made him feel terrible because it wasn't fair to Andi.  
Andi looked like she'd gladly crawl into a hole. "Everything," she said with a sigh. "Movie night at my place tonight?"  
Cyrus pulled the girls into a group hug. "And a big tub of ice cream."

 

They had settled down on the couch with cozy blankets and lots of different snacks to help make Andi feel better.  
"I was waiting for him to ask me to be his date for the dance but he didn't so I thought I should just ask him if he wanted to go with me," Andi told them as she tore into a pack of cookies.  
"And?", Cyrus asked.  
"And he said 'Sure, we'll all go as a group'. It's like I never actually was his girlfriend." She sighed. "I really wanted to have a date. Well, I wanted Jonah to be my date." With a frown she stuffed a cookie into her mouth.  
"I don't have one either," Buffy said. "We don't need dates to have fun."  
Andi pursed her lips. "I'm not even sure I want to go at all."  
"What?!" Cyrus put a hand on her shoulder for emphasis. "Andi, you _have_ to go. There are only so many school dances in a lifetime." Andi didn't look convinced so he added, "I'll be your date!..If you want."  
Andi's face lightened up a little. "What about TJ?"  
"Well.. we can't really say it's a date.. so I guess I'm free," Cyrus replied and tried not to let on how bummed he was about it.  
"That's nice of you to offer, but I think I'd rather be someone's first choice," Andi said.  
Cyrus gave her an apologetic look. "Sorry..", he mumbled.  
Buffy nudged her gently with her shoulder. "Come on, I'm sure we're gonna have a great time. Besides, you worked so hard for the decorations, don't you wanna see the fruits of your labor?"  
Andi smiled lightly. "I guess you're right."  
"Of course I am."

 

 

"I don't even wanna go in," Andi said, eyeing the door to the gym where the dance was being held.  
"Come on, Andi," Buffy responded. "You can't avoid every place where Jonah might be."  
Andi wrinkled her forehead. "But can I try?"  
"And hide away in your house forever?", Buffy asked, raising her eyebrows.  
"Sounds good to me," Andi replied with a sarcastic smile.

Cyrus wasn't really paying attention to them because he was fixated on his phone, begging time to go by faster, but he looked up when Buffy said his name.  
"Cyrus, relax. Are you worried he won't show up or something? He isn't even late yet."  
"No, of course not. I know he'll come," Cyrus said and with a sheepish smile he added, "I just can't wait."  
Andi's expression softened up. "I'm sorry, I don't wanna be a downer, I know you're excited."  
Cyrus shook his head. "It's fine, I know being here today can't be easy for you." He puffed up his chest. "And don't worry. I'll ward Jonah off with my body if I have to."  
Andi chuckled. "My hero."

"There he is," Buffy said and nodded at a spot behind Cyrus, who turned around immediately.  
With a bright smile on his face TJ was walking up to them. "Hi."  
Cyrus knew he was staring but he couldn't stop. He had seen TJ's suit in pictures before, but they really didn't do it justice.  
"Hha..", was all he could get out.  
"That means he thinks you look handsome," Buffy translated, peeking over Cyrus' shoulder.  
"And cute," Andi added in a slightly teasing tone.  
"Stop it, guys," Cyrus whispered through his teeth as his face turned red. He looked up at TJ. "But.. they're right."  
TJ bit his bottom lip, his cheeks blushing slightly as well. "You too. And would you look at that," he said, pretending to be surprised, and held their ties next to each other. "We match."  
"How did that happen," he mumbled, too enamored with TJ to play along properly.

Buffy put her hands on Cyrus' shoulders to snap him out of it. "Let's get in there before you start drooling."  
Reluctantly, Cyrus tore his gaze away from TJ, who looked to the side, trying to suppress a grin.

They were barely inside for two minutes when Jonah spotted them from accross the room and started walking towards them.  
"Great," Andi mumbled.  
"Hey, guys," Jonah said, clearly struggling to keep his smile in place. "Hey, Andi," he added more quietly.  
"Hi," Andi said, trying to smile.  
To Cyrus' surprise, Jonah turned to him. "Cyrus, can I talk to you for a second?"  
Cyrus gave the others uncertain looks.  
It sounded awfully serious when Jonah wasn't using some kind of nickname. He couldn't imagine why Jonah would want to talk to him when Andi was standing right next to him.  
And if it was going to be a love declaration then it was way too late.  
"Uh, sure," he answered.  
Andi turned to Buffy and TJ. "Why don't we start mingling and Cyrus can come find us when he's done," she said, probably glad for any excuse to get away from Jonah.

Cyrus and Jonah moved a little to the side, where not as many people were standing around.  
"What's going on?", Cyrus asked cautiously.  
Jonah hesitated. "It's.. I know things aren't great between Andi and me right now.. but we're still cool, right?"  
"Yes, of course!", Cyrus replied. "Andi has been my best friend since forever, but you're my friend too and that hasn't changed."  
Jonah exhaled and relaxed noticably. "So I can count on you at the next game?", he asked with a smirk.  
"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Cyrus smiled softly and offered his hand for a hug.  
"Awesome," Jonah replied and took his hand to hug him.  
"And I'm sure you and Andi are gonna be fine, just give it time," Cyrus said.  
Jonah gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder. "Thanks, man."

Cyrus rejoined the others, and for a while they were having a good time, drinking punch, taking selfies, but it was hard to overlook that Andi wasn't feeling great. She kept glancing over at Jonah, or looking at the dancefloor longingly.  
"Dance with me," Cyrus said and grabbed her wrist. Somehow he felt responsible for cheering her up since he managed to get over Jonah fairly unscathed while she was the one with a broken heart.  
"I'm not really in the mood," she responded and tried to retract her hand, but Cyrus wasn't having it.  
"Come on, I know you want to," he said.  
Andi cracked a smile and let him pull her with him. "What did you and Jonah talk about, anyway?"  
"He just wanted to make sure we're still friends," Cyrus answered truthfully.  
For a moment, she hesitated. "Are you ever gonna tell him that you.. you know."  
"Nah," Cyrus replied with a shrug. "He's probably better off not knowing... and I don't really need him to know anymore."  
"I'm a little jealous of you, to be honest," she admitted.  
" _You_? Jealous of _me_?", Cyrus asked and raised his eyebrows in surprise. "What a turn of events."  
Andi chuckled. "You're really lucky."  
Cyrus glanced at TJ, who met his gaze and smiled. "Yeah."

"You call that dancing?", Cyrus asked when he watched Andi's unispired swaying from side to side. "Come on!" He started doing increasingly goofy dance moves to make her laugh, with varying success.

*

TJ leaned onto the bar table between him and Buffy as he watched Cyrus on the dancefloor.  
"You might wanna stare a little less obviously," Buffy said, smirking at him.  
Feeling caught, TJ averted his gaze and straightened his back a little, but with a light smile on his lips as well. To occupy his eyes, he looked around the gym, at the decorations they had made, at the other people, and back at Cyrus because he couldn't help it, but he made sure to be more subtle this time.  
"It's weird how different it looks in here. Hard to believe that this is where we play basketball," Buffy remarked.  
"Or used to play," TJ added under his breath but regretted it immediately. This was not a conversation he wanted to have right now.  
"Sorry," Buffy replied. "I didn't mean to-"  
TJ cut her off. "It's fine. It's just that I probably won't get to play this season at all and it's driving me crazy," he said, because apparently he was having this conversation after all.  
"You should come to the next game," Buffy said and a cheeky smile formed on her face. "So that you still remember how to play when you come back."  
TJ snorted. "Please. I could still beat you with one arm tied behind my back."  
"You're on," she responded with a spark in her eyes.  
There was a pause, and TJ's expression turned more serious. "Thanks," he said.  
"For what?", Buffy asked, confused by his response.  
He wasn't sure either and shrugged. "I guess.. for giving me a second chance."  
Buffy smiled smugly. "And a third, and a fourth, and-"  
"Point taken." He rolled his eyes but smiled as well.  
"Actually, I wanna thank you too," she then said.  
TJ gave her a questioning look. "What? Why?"  
Glancing at Cyrus, she answered, "Watching him pine after Jonah was.. not pretty." She turned back to TJ. "But I think you make him really happy."  
"..He makes me happy, too," he said quietly, looking down at the tablecloth because he was too flustered to keep eye-contact.

 

Andi and Cyrus returned to them, both wearing bright smiles.  
"You have to come dance with us," Andi said, slightly out of breath.  
"Look who's feeling better," Buffy replied, glad that Andi was able to enjoy herself.  
Andi pursed her lips. "Yeah. I decided I don't want this whole Jonah thing to keep me from having fun tonight." She looked at everyone. "So?"  
"You don't have to ask me twice," Buffy said with a smirk.  
"Actually," Cyrus began, glancing at TJ and back at the girls. "Can you excuse us a minute?"  
TJ creased his eyebrowes slightly, but didn't question it.  
"Sure," Buffy responded. "But don't take too long, this dancefloor is calling for you."  
They were laughing and already dancing as they went to join the crowd.  
Cyrus turned to TJ. "Let's go somewhere more.. quiet."

 

TJ followed him wordlessly out of the gym and they turned a couple of corners until they were sure nobody would disturb them.  
The hallway they found themselves in would have been completely dark if not for a streetlight near the windows.  
"Everything okay?", TJ asked cautiously, because he still didn't know what was going on.  
Cyrus gave him a weak smile. "Yeah, we just didn't get a chance to talk since we got here. Alone, I mean."  
"Why can't we talk in there?"  
Looking at the ground, Cyrus answered, "Because I also want to hold your hand and.. do other things that we can't do around other people."  
TJ took Cyrus' hand and squeezed it ever so lightly, causing him to look up. "..Are you saying you wanna tell people?" It would be a great relief if they didn't have to hide it from almost everyone, but what would they think? Surely they would look at them differently. And what if they weren't accepted by everyone like they were by their friends?  
"I don't know," Cyrus said with a sigh. "..I wish we were already past that. The thought of telling other people just seems really-"  
"Scary?", TJ finished the sentence.  
Cyrus nodded and looked down at their hands, slowly brushing over the back of TJ's hand with his thumb.  
"It's so unfair," TJ mumbled and his voice got louder as he spoke on. "I wish we didn't have to tell anyone at all. Why does it have to be such a big deal when two boys like each other?"  
"Maybe one day it won't be," Cyrus responded and met TJ's gaze, his head tilted slightly and a hint of a smile on his lips. "But until then.. we could meet each other's parents, for starters?"  
TJ didn't quite understand. "You've met my parents."  
"But not as your boyfriend," Cyrus said, his smile growing bigger. "That way we won't have to lie to our parents when we go on dates and they can take couple pictures before dances and I can put up little rainbow flags in my rooms.. I just want to be honest with them about who I am and who I like."  
TJ let out a quiet laugh. "Easy for you to say. My mom already likes you more than me and I have to face twice as many parents."  
"I'll be there with you the whole time," Cyrus reassured him. "Whenever you're ready."  
With a soft smile forming on TJ's lips, he stepped a little closer and put his free hand on Cyrus' shoulder. "You're pretty amazing, you know that?" Cyrus opened his mouth to disagree but TJ didn't let him. "You are," he said in a firm but gentle tone. "I don't know where I'd be right now if it weren't for you. I think Buffy even kind of likes me now." They both grinned. "And I thought I'd never be able to solve a single equation, but now it's only a matter of time until I get back on the team."  
Cyrus raised and eyebrow. "Is that optimism I sense?"  
"Maybe," TJ replied and rolled his eyes playfully. His tone was soft when he spoke on, "Point is.. you make me a better person by just being you."  
Cyrus' eyes had become glossy and he looked down. When he spoke, his voice sounded fragile. "That day, when you came up to me by the swing set, I was terrified. I thought you were going to make fun of me, but you didn't, and I don't think you realize how much that meant to me." Blinking tears away, he looked up at TJ with a warm smile. "You never judge me for my awkwardness and all the weird things I say and do.. I can be myself around you without even thinking about it and I never feel ashamed and it's.. really nice not to be scared."

TJ was just staring at him, feeling his eyes fill with tears as well. He swallowed and opened his mouth, but he didn't know what to say.  
Instead, as their hands were loosely intertwined and hanging between them, TJ let his other hand travel from Cyrus' shoulder to the crook of his neck to pull him closer, slowly and gently.  
Cyrus met him halfway and TJ closed his eyes, sighing into the kiss.  
When they parted, TJ felt as though the room was spinning around them, but he smiled and quickly stole another kiss from Cyrus before wrapping his arms around him and holding him close.  
As Cyrus leaned into his chest, TJ could hear him take a deep breath.

 

"Andi and Buffy are probably wondering what's taking so long," Cyrus mumbled after a while but made no attempt to move.  
TJ gave a slightly annoyed humm, but he knew they couldn't stay here forever.  
Reluctantly, they both let go and Cyrus stood up on his tiptoes to give TJ one last kiss before they walked back to the gym.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh look more outtakes:
> 
> Cyrus: "Ask me who just texted me!"  
> Buffy: "Your boyfriend."  
> Cyrus: "Why must you steal my thunder."
> 
> TJ: "You have a list of your favorite dinosaurs?"  
> Cyrus: "It's laminated."
> 
> "Ankylocyrus"
> 
> \----
> 
> thanks for reading!  
> talk to me on tumblr @tj-smitten


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